True or False? “Love means never having to say your sorry.” (Love Story, 1970)
If you truly love someone, saying your sorry is part of knowing that you love enough to admit your mistakes and own up to them.
Remember that moment you met the person you first fell in love with? The way your heart felt like it was going to jump from your chest, the way they smelled, and excitement to hear their voice on the phone? The way you felt when they slipped the engagement ring on your finger?
My last marriage ended and even though we had our ups and downs, I questioned love. Did I still love him, or didn’t I? When it all came to an end, I fell apart. It was then I realized I did love him, I was in love with him. I loved the man I first met. That man missed me, he said the right things, did the right things and held me just because. The man who ended our marriage was not the same man I fell in love with. I didn’t realize until recently that by giving up so much of myself for him, I forgot who I was and what love was. I fell in love with a dream, a life that was no more. My view of what love was and now are very different.
I see love as more than a person in a certain body. Love kisses goodbye with passion not just because they are leaving for the day. Love calls you to hear your voice and is interested in how your day is going. Love is not a diamond ring. Love is not just saying your sorry, but getting past those moments and being able to move on and let the past be the past.
Someone who truly loves you won’t have to say a word when you are down, they just know wrapping their arms around you and allowing you to cry on their shoulder is everything. Writing a note in the steam on your bathroom mirror that says you are beautiful. It’s the little things that cost nothing and mean the most that show love for me.
Here are my friends’ responses when I asked them to tell me what love meant and the meaning of love:
Kelly (F): “Love is a verb. You have to DO it. It means forgetting about your own need and knowing what the object of your love needs and wants even when no words are spoken.”
Sheri (F): “Love surely has a different meaning for each of us, and we have a unique kind of love for the different people in our lives. My grandmother used to tell me, “Love is like a loaf of bread. You should enjoy making it every day and knead the dough carefully.” My grandparents were married for over 75 years. Sadly, we see less and less of that today. Ask Google the question: What is the meaning of love? Google replies: as a noun, love is an intense of feeling of deep affection. As a verb, love is a feeling of deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. I have to say that is an extremely basic, or perhaps overly shallow, definition.
To me, love cannot be defined in nine words or less. Love is freely giving yourself to your partner, unselfishly – mind, body, and soul. Love is sharing your life with your best friend and knowing that person loves you unconditionally, respects you, and “has your back.” Love is creating a profoundly deep level of intimacy that makes the two of you comfortable enough to share all of your thoughts, feelings, and dreams. Love is helping make each other’s dreams come true.
Love is the attentiveness to one another’s needs, listening to one another and being honest. Love is celebrating each other, being excited to see each other when one comes home from work or receiving a phone call or two when not together as well as consciously making time to spend together. As the saying goes, our most valuable commodity is our time. Love is sharing your life and your time with your significant other.”
Shelly (F): “Love has never been about the big, elaborate shows of affection but is found more in the little, everyday things. Either by gestures, actions or words, it is the little things that we do spontaneously every day that expresses best what is in our hearts. A warm secret smile, a kiss on the forehead, holding hands during a movie or a hug, it is these types of things that I think genuinely reflect what is in the heart… at that moment and carry a great deal of meaning. To me, love has always been synonymous with happiness and my happiness does not come from the result of an occasional grand gesture but from a steady daily dose of simple pleasures. “Little things” expressed in small but frequent does indicate to me that I am in a profound, enduring, genuine love.”
Kathy (F): “LOVE To start off… I can state what love is not…. I have learned that real love has nothing to do with how I ”feel.” It is not an emotion…. If it was, I would be falling in and out of “love” constantly. When people say “I don’t feel like I’m “in love” anymore…. that is not love. That was just a feeling … an emotion. I feel that love should be a decision to an unconditional commitment regardless… real love never ends!”
Mark (M): “Love is the core of existence and the one constant in humanity. Often overshadowed by hate and greed it has been fought with adversity with each passing generation. Still it is the foundation of all that is right and keeps us believing in something bigger than ourselves. Love is holding someone so effortlessly and knowing a bomb could not harm you. Love is having a kiss feel like you are 10 and innocent once again. Love is infectious sizzling, erotic, playful and harmless. It is a euphoria of our dreams and realities becoming one. Most importantly, it is random finding it’s way to your heart at just the right time when you need it.”
How do you define love, what does it mean to you?