“We were perfectly happy before we decided to live happily ever after.”
Just last week, I was at Target in search of drawing paper and new Crayola markers for Jack. As I was scanning the shelves, I noticed a cute four year old little girl, pleading with her mommy to buy her a coloring book. Pointing to a Disney “Princess Brides” coloring book, she said emphatically, “I have wanted this my whole life! Can I have it?” Me too kid. Me too. Along with millions of women across the world.
From an early age, ideals of happiness and love have been wrapped up in pretty fairy-tale packages. We are promised that one day your prince will come, you will get married and live Happily Ever After. As young girls, we begin to equate happiness with finding a man and becoming married. A life spent WAITING for Prince Charming.
I know I thought I had found my Prince Charming and lived the fairy-tale fantasy for almost twenty years. We are humans, filled with flaws. We must face reality, not live in fantasy. Sadly, not all tales have happy endings. However, each chapter is the opportunity for a new beginnning.
One Upon a Time There Was a Beautiful Princess …
Who Kissed Alot of Frogs . . .
Fell Deeply In Love..Not With One Man, But With Life
What happens if he doesn’t show up? What if your biological clock is ticking loud and there is no Prince in sight? What if you do meet your Prince, but after a few babies, a mortgage, juggling careers and marital troubles, he decides to ride off into the sunset without you? Maybe he found a new princess. What if your Prince turns into an evil villian during divorce proceedings? Does this mean, you still cannot have your Happily Ever After? Must all Happy Endings require a man?
Someday My Prince Will Come …or Will He?
Is This What Snow White Expected?
I wish we would all stop telling little girls that someday their prince will come. Hell, I wish people would stop telling me this now. “Don’t worry, your prince will come.” Maybe he will and maye he won’t. I will be fine either way. I am not waiting around for someone to “complete me”, I am already enough. Lines like that are for Hollywood Jerry McGuire movies. If you need someone to complete you, you are in a serious need of soul searching.
You Complete Me…FALSE
As I am nearing my forties, I have come to the stark realization, that my happiness and survival does not have to involve a man in the equation. Would companionship and partnership be nice? Absolutely. Is it a pre-requisate for a happy life? Absolutely not.
Placing all your happiness in another human being is just asking for heartache and trouble.
Why do so many men and women rush towards marriage? Why do little girls begging their moms for Princess Brides coloring books dream of getting married? Why are weddings a multi-million dollar industry? Why do men and women, who haven’t even let the ink dry on their divorce decrees, rush to be remarried within a year? Why do more than half of all marriages end in divorce (we aren’t even including the unhappily married in this figure)? I will tell you exactly why, it is because they are in love with a fantasy. People fall in love with the idea of marriage.
Why don’t we teach our daughters that it is entirely up to them to create their own Happily Ever After. If a Prince comes a long… FANTASTIC! I have friends who have found their Prince Charmings and I am absolutely thrilled for them. Here is the reality, not everyone is as lucky in love. Take a look at me, all my princes turned out to be donkeys, you don’t see me all sad about it. Instead, each day I am writing new adventures into the story of my life. We should learn to fall in love with life, not with just one man.
Life deals us all a different hand. We might have a winning streak or we might bust. Perhaps, if we had this mindset, the losses wouldn’t leave us feeling to emotionally bankrupt.
Not all marriages are bad, infact, there are plenty of good ones out there too. Sadly, as the years pass, I have witnessed countless “perfect” marriages end, princes who lost their charm and beautiful women left to pick up the pieces. It can happen to any marriage. It happened to mine, it could happen to yours. Would you be able to bounce back? Just because I am realistic, doesn’t mean that I am void of romance. I’d like to think I am better equipped for my next time around.
My life experiences have taught me that it is never to late to write your Happily Ever After. You don’t have to wait around for the next Prince Charming to rescue you. That, baby girl, is YOUR job! How do you plan to begin your Happily Ever After?
Love You Princesses,