You like him.
He likes you.
The two of you go on a few dates, and you both realize the two of you hit it off. You decide to take the dating into a more serious level. Congratulations on your new relationship!
As with any new relationships, and most especially since you are coming from a divorce, the first few months of dating feel amazing and great. You’re inspired, motivated, and all smiles the whole day! Nothing can seem to put you in a bad mood, especially with Cupid hovering around you. But all the excitement may blind you from the small things you do that may potentially harm your new love life.
With the help of experts from Essay Scholaradvisor I’ve rounded up the six things you need to watch out for if you want to keep this new relationship. You wouldn’t want another “uncoupling” in the future, right?
6 Mistakes to Avoid In a New Relationship:
1. Assuming your new partner is perfect
He always looks clean and shaven. He can be up before you to brew your coffee and can whip up a hearty breakfast. Lastly, he never forgets to put down the toilet seat after each time he uses the bathroom. So he got that all checked off your standards of an ideal man.
While this may convince you to consider marrying (again!) soon, why don’t you give the relationship more time? You might be too caught up in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship that you picture him as perfect, and entirely different from your previous spouse. Reality check: He’s still human.
2. Dropping your life for him
The excitement of a new relationship can be satisfying for you and your self-esteem. And you’d probably want to spend most of your time with him. That’s perfectly understandable, especially if this is your next relationship after your divorce.
Go on dates frequently if you feel like it. But remember to give each other personal time. He has a life before you, and so do you. Don’t abandon the things that matter to you as an individual. Keep doing the stuff you love, and allow him to do the same. Don’t suffocate him by being too available. And don’t throw away the new you, you’ve built right after your divorce.
3. Being too possessive
Possessiveness is always a turn-off, whether in a new commitment or a long-time one. Just because he is your catch does not mean you own him. Avoid acting like you want him on a leash for your fear of another separation. Make your relationship about two independent individuals who complement each other. That way, there will be no need to be too dependent or too possessive of your partner. Moreover, showing possessiveness reveals your insecurity and lack of trust in your beau.
4. Overanalyzing the situation
This one may look harmless, but you don’t realize that it can actually harm your relationship. For instance, you want to see him again the next day, but you hesitate about asking because you think you might be too available or too dependent! The best thing is just to simply say it. If he agrees to see you, good. If not, it’s okay! Guys prefer being straightforward than being too dramatic or hard to figure out. Don’t let your mind think too much, and just let things happen.
5. Lying about your needs
Honesty will always be a good thing in any relationship. It implies openness and trust.
While communicating is significant in handling a relationship well as you get to discuss stuff with your partner, it would be better if what you communicate is truthful. Otherwise, you are only discussing things to avoid confrontations, but not to address important concerns.
Are you comfortable with your current set-up? Open up and tell him. An honest and open communication means that you trust your partner enough to understand you and your needs.
6. Avoiding big, serious talks
If you plan to get really serious with your current flame and consider remarrying, then you have to deal with issues and concerns that matter. What are your long-term goals as a couple? Do you share the same set of values? If either of you have kids, what are your plans for them too? While these kinds of discussions need not happen right away as it might look as if you are jumping on the gun too soon, you and your beau can set the pace and find the right time to discuss these things.
Coming from a divorce may have been a setback to your happy ending. But with a budding relationship at the moment, it is important to look at the bigger picture while also being careful with potential relationship mistakes. This way, you can get over the trauma of your divorce, and be ready to face a lifetime of bliss with your new man.