Think you can’t date a younger man? Think again. Here are five fabulous reasons to date younger – and love every minute of it!
Reason 1: He Loves Your Experience
Your experience is valuable – whether you’re 35 or 45 or 65. And what a man your own age may view as “baggage,” a younger guy sees as fascinating territory you’ve traveled – and you’re willing to share.
Think of all the things you two can discuss – and you can take the lead and enjoy being the mentor. Everything from the business world to the books you read, and the pleasures you care to indulge in during private moments.
He’s the beneficiary of your lessons and your humor, and yes, that experience applies to the way you handle yourself in bed.
Reason 2: He’s Open-Minded
Sure, we all tend to grow more opinionated as we get a little older, and some of us are young at heart and open-minded forever. But we may be more likely to find an enthusiastic cheerleader and non-judgmental partner in a person who is on the younger side.
Stuck on trying those tango lessons that your ex refused to consider? Chances are, your younger man is game. Dying to hike the Pacific Northwest or finally start your own consulting firm? He won’t be a naysayer; he’ll admire your talent and determination.
Reason 3: They’re Hot!
No offense intended to the mature gentlemen we all know (and love), but younger guys are happy to take a tumble at any time of day or night – not just for scheduled Saturday Night Sex. And that’s hot!
From a sexuality standpoint, many say that a younger man and older woman are a better fit, though this depends on the couple – of course. But consider this: You may want to explore in ways you never felt comfortable when you were younger. He may be more than willing to do so… with enthusiasm. You may want to make up for lost time after a less than monumental marital sex life. He may be more than delighted to oblige.
Reason 4: His Attitude and Energy Are (Happily) Infectious
Whenever I’ve dated younger – anywhere from 5 to 10 years – I found that an upbeat attitude and adventurous nature to encourage precisely the same in me. The result? I ventured more, I accomplished more, and I relished all of it. A younger man helped me live more in the moment, and also look forward – at a time when I needed that upturn in optimism.
Naturally, a vibrant approach to each day can be present at any age. But if we’ve been dealing with hardship or have gone through tough times, a more youthful outlook can be invigorating.
Reason 5: If You Know What You Want… Compatibility
In any relationship, it’s critical to know what you want. Are you looking for something casual? Are you hoping for something long-term? Are you in transition and aware of that fact – looking to experiment and explore?
Fireworks in bed are not a factor of age, but of attraction and emotional bonding. Belief systems and values have little to do with the year of your birth. A 40-year-old woman with a 5-year-old may find she has everything in common with a 30-year-old man with a 5-year old. A 55-year-old woman may find a passionate and attentive lover in a 38-year-old.
When a couple wants different things – at any age – that’s where you run into challenges.
What Else Matters When Dating a Younger Man?
Some of the reasons a younger man will love spending time with you:
- Confidence: You know who you are, responsibility doesn’t scare you, and self-assurance is sexy – don’t forget it!
- Priorities: You don’t sweat the small stuff, because you’ve survived enough of life’s tough times to know what truly matters
- Communication: Not only do you know who you are and what you want, you can articulate it. And clear communication when it comes to sex? It’s so much easier as we grow more comfortable in our own skin.
Managing Expectations
Do be sensitive to the feelings of your children, and don’t forget that individual circumstances are likely to come into play.
A five-year age difference may be a non-event. 10 years? Unimportant if you’re 34 and he’s 24, or if you’re 70 and he’s 60. Isn’t it really about maturity?
Except…
Certainly, an age difference matters if it’s significant enough that the biological clock comes into play.
If he’s 30 and wants kids – but you’re 40 and done – you have an impasse on your hands unless other options are open.
So if you know he wants a family and you do not (or cannot), isn’t that a deal breaker – even if you’re the same age?
Signs the Age Gap Is a Problem
Pay attention to signs that the age gap is a problem. Here are a few clues that indicate you may have bitten off too significant a difference:
- You long for more intellectual stimulation
- The interaction is making you feel older rather than good about yourself
- You hope for more than a sexual relationship, but you cannot socialize with his friends – or yours.
Otherwise? Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Be yourself, be aware of who you’re with and what you want, set your expectations accordingly – and enjoy!
Related Links:
The younger guys are nice for a tumble and being wanted by one is a big ego boost, but I found that I couldn’t keep them. There were things that they wanted, actually expected, that I wasn’t comfortable with. It frankly made me feel old and out of it. They were understanding about it, but I’m not going to change who I am and I didn’t like the way it made me feel.
When you go beyond the tumble, and actually start thinking about a relationship, I was very uncomfortable about the kids aspect. It’s different for old guys with young women. Guys can have kids into their 80’s. I’ve got three and I’m done. Even if they say they don’t want kids, I’d always worry that eventually they’d change their mind and all that would be left is for them to leave me for someone who could give them a child.
My boyfriend of 3 years turns 33 next month. I am 42. To us, age is just a number. I think life experiences and personalities, goals, etc. really play into compatibility. If two people are truly compatible, age doesn’t matter. We honestly forget the age difference much of the time unless a song or old tv show comes up, which usually results in a good laugh. Dane had his reasons for wanting to date an older woman just as I had my reasons for finding a younger man more appealing. It works for us, so I guess my message here is to be open minded.
Compatibility, shared laughter, an open-mind – all key! So glad you have discovered what I also did – that when you’re compatible in stage (and all the other important ways), age is a non-event.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Bella!
D. A.
Compatibility, shared laughter, an open-mind – all key! So glad you have discovered what I also did – that when you’re compatible in stage (and all the other important ways), age is a non-event.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Bella!
D. A.
Hi Jenny D. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment. Yup, younger guys can be good for a tumble (so can older guys – it’s a matter of sexual chemistry, right?), but I have found that younger guys can be great for much more!
I do think the ages (and stages) of both involved have much to do with it.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience! (And let’s hear it for great relationships whatever our ages.)
D. A.