Is "Letting Yourself Go" an Excuse For Cheating?

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By Liz Logan, Featured Columnist - January 02, 2014

Chubby Woman.jpgWhy do men cheat? Well I guess it’s like anything else. It’s human nature. It is what it is. You cannot expect people to perform beyond their abilities. We are all wired differently. We are similar but I guess a better way to put it is that we are all wired uniquely. You can yell and scream at someone but it won’t change him or her. In the words of Sheena Easton “You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. You can give a man your whole heart and soul but you cannot make him think”. So, why do men cheat? The answer is why not?

You can blame him, you can blame yourself but in reality it’s the way he’s wired. The answer is that you can’t blame him and you can’t change him. Let’s take a look at why.

I read many articles on why men cheat and they were as evasive as men are in general. OMG, blah, blah, blah. Stop already with the excuses. This is why men cheat according to the articles I read:

  1. Because they are unhappy
  2. Because you don’t put out
  3. Because you are a bitch
  4. Because you let yourself go
  5. Because they are a bad boy
  6. Because they are gay
  7. Because they had the opportunity
  8. Because they wanted excitement

Now let’s get down to the nitty and the gritty: If you picked the wrong guy then it’s your own fault. If you knew beforehand that he was a cheater, that is.

Let’s face it ladies there are really only three reasons men cheat that we have any control over:

  • He’s a douche bag and you need to let him go.
  • He is gay and not interested in what you have to offer.
  • You’ve let yourself go. If you have let yourself go, then you can take power and change. That is the real reason for this article. Why did you let yourself go? Were you beaten down or did you get lazy? Either way you have to put things right.

It’s a checks and balance system and it all comes down to accounting. I hated that class but in reality it’s the best class I ever took. It’s pros and cons, assets and debits and it really makes sense. Take control of your life. Do the Pros and Cons and if he cheats move on from there.

A very good friend of mine (a man) told me that men are pigs but you can keep your pig on a leash. Puke.   I don’t want a man that feels like an animal on a leash and I surely don’t want him to feel like a pig on a leash. I want a man that feels like a man.  

I think my mom had the right idea. She was married 65 years so she did something right. She told him (my dad) that she wasn’t his mother. It was up to him to make sure he got to work on time and to the doctor if he was sick.

They were raised right, with morals and integrity and they held themselves accountable for their actions. That’s all you can do. It’s a matter of self-control, respect, empathy, understanding and luck or fate or whatever life deals you. But, you know what you know. Those butterflies in your stomach tell you what is what. You don’t need eight reasons why men cheat. Pick the right man. Talk to him every day and explain to him why you need him to be faithful. Have faith in him. The right man won’t cheat.

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