Learning To Love Being Alone After Divorce
Share on Tumblr
By Tanya, Guest Author - June 14, 2015

bed.jpg 

I'm alone but I'm not lonely!

That's what I would say to myself over and over again as I sat at night in my queen size bed arranging the pillows in a way so one side of the bed would not look so empty. I would also say this statement to myself as I walked through my home when it was so quiet I could hear nothing but the wall clock tick tocking away. During the early months after my divorce, living each day alone was very hard. I was used to sharing my days with my spouse and doing things as a couple, down to the grocery shopping. Now as a single woman I had to get use to doing daily activities and making decisions that only affect me.

Now as I'm getting use to being a single woman, I'm free to do the things I've previously wanted to do but didn't because when I was a married woman I often put the needs of my husband and kids before my own. But with divorce came new freedoms and choices. I can go on vacations to places when and where I like, I can make purchases for what I want without having to talk it over with someone else, I can even choose the restaurants and movies I like without having to see if someone else likes the choice or not. This new found freedom didn't come easily, it took time to change years of thinking and living as part of a couple to now thinking and living as a single woman.

How does being alone affect my relationships with men? Now that I have this new found courage in my status of being single, I have approached dating in a new way. I no longer date to find someone so I can have a warm body in my bed, or to have someone to wake up to everyday and eat dinner with every night. That type of companionship is what I looked for when I was lonely and alone. Now when I date I am more focused on finding someone I can have fun with, who enjoys my company and wants to be with me because he likes me and that does not mean we have to sleep together or that he has to be a permanent fixture in my life.

I'm not saying I don't want to have that sole companion one day, I'm just saying that I don't need a warm body in my bed to make me happy or a whole person. To tell you the truth, I kind of like having the bed all to myself. I've become kind of a blanket and sheet hogger and now I'm enjoying eating some dinners alone, that way I can cook or not cook if I want to, and that would be my decision. I like going out on dates and meeting new people but now it's on my terms and I make the decisions of who, what, when and where the date happens or doesn't happen. I feel more liberated and free in my choices now when I date and I think embracing the fact that I am more comfortable being alone really is making the difference. My family and friends are noticing the change in me and have commented on it often.

Now with the help of my family and friends supporting me and leaning heavily on my religious faith, I feel stronger and less fearful to do things on my own. I love being alone but not lonely.

Related Articles:

 

photo credit: let's get lifted via photopin (license)

Share on Tumblr
Recommended For You
10 Pitfalls Of Divorce In The Digital Age

This article addresses how technology and science in the digital age impacts the divorcing family and the process of divorce.  


6 Tips For Learning How To Trust Again After Divorce

Learning to trust again after divorce is one of the biggest challenges people face after divorce. Here are 6 tips you will find useful. 


The 5 Worst Reasons to Marry (and how to avoid them)

Many couples marry for all the wrong reasons. But these problems can be avoided. Learn how to avoid making the same mistakes.


Around The Web
Comments 0 Comments

Enter the text you see in the image.

DivorcedMoms
 Wants YOU...
To Become A Contributor
DivorcedMoms Direct

Subscribe to our FREE newsletter!

Go!