Have you ever asked yourself a question like this?
What did I do to deserve this? Why did [insert name] get [insert thing] one and not me?
These are the answers we’ll likely get to questions like these:
The answer to the first question: I must have really screwed up. The answer to second question: Life isn’t fair.
Any question you pose in your mind is answered by your brain whether you realize it or not.
Negative questions and negative responses get us more of the same. This type of inquiry can spiral down into thinking and results that don’t serve us and keep us stuck.
What are you asking yourself? Stop. Listen.
Check in with yourself first thing in the morning. Ideally, you ask yourself questions like: “How can I make it a great day?”
The key is to pay attention.
When I started checking in with myself. I was surprised at how often I was asking, “What’s your problem?” This is NOT a great question!
Even, innocent sounding questions like, “What should I do next?” can be tricky. Beware. The word should generate hidden land mines of naysaying. Here’s another way you could ask what’s next: “What can I do next that will forward my progress?”
If your questions start with, “What’s wrong with…” or “Why can’t I…” you’re going to get an adverse response.
Here’s how to know for sure: Ask your question. Consciously answer it. Check in to see how your answer feels. If the answer feels negative, shift your question in such a way that it elicits a positive response.
Some examples of questions you might be asking yourself (or may have asked in the past). Why can’t I lose weight? What is my problem? Why didn’t I do better with ______? When will my life be better? Why doesn’t my kid behave? When will I get out of debt?
If the answers to your questions make you feel bad, tired or cause you to reach for a drink or a cookie, then you’re asking the wrong questions.
When you ask yourself a powerful, positive question like, “How can I make losing weight fun?” your answer comes as a thought that feels good. This good feeling will help you take actions that forward your progress and get you the results you truly want.
Make your brain an ally. Ask it great questions so it can get busy helping you find powerful answers.
Below are six negative questions along with examples of how to shift them powerfully.
1. Negative Question: What is my problem?
New & Improved: What is great about me?
2. Negative Question: Why didn’t I do better with ______?
New & Improved: What can I learn from this?
3. Negative Question: When will my life be better?
New & Improved: What do I like about my life today?
4. Negative Question: Why doesn’t my child behave?
New & Improved: How can I support my child to do his best?
5. Negative Question: When will I get out of debt?
New & Improved: What’s one action I can take today toward paying off my debt?
6. Negative Question: Why can’t I succeed?
New & Improved: What success have I already created in my life?
Start your day with a powerful question. You’ll be amazed at how this shift in perspective will help you create the life you want. I told you my question, what’s yours?
photo credit: gomattolson via photopin cc
Katie,
There is so much truth written here. Thank you for sharing a much needed perspective. It is amazing how much can change when we change our attitude about things. When I compare my life to the lives of my siblings it seems they live a life of luxury and that almost everything negative happens to me however I am much happier than they are because I have learned that asking why is counterproductive.
Every morning, I spend a few moments before I even get out of bed thinking of how I am going to have a good day. Just those few positive thoughts completely change my day, which in turn change my week, my life.
Love it! Thank you again for sharing.