When your son gets angry with you how do you react? What do you say to him?
Sometimes parents are unsure of how to communicate with their teen son when they’re having an outburst or are unable to calm the situation down. Below are six ways you can make the parenting an angry teen son easier.
1. Identify the problem:
A lot of times were unsure of why we’re angry until we’re able to cool off. But for your teen son it can be more challenging to understand why he is angry. He might not even know he is angry until he talks about it.
I think it’s a good idea for parents to guide their son with questions to identify the true problem of his anger.
Ask your son to start noticing what he is angry about and ask questions such as: What triggers you? What is making you angry? What is something that made you angry today? Did I make you angry? What are you feeling and why? You will get the best answers when your son is calm and open to talking about the situation.
2. Think about the solutions:
After you identify the problem, think about solutions which can calm your son down or make him feel better. The solutions depend on the problem and how your son will react. Everyone is different.
Ask your son what you can do to make the situation better. Such as just listening, giving him space, hugging him, or allowing him to scream.
Assisting your son in finding solutions is basic problem solving which includes discovering, analyzing and unraveling the truth. The ultimate goal is to overcome the obstacle and find a solution that best resolves the issue. This is can be a great teaching moment and help you and your son approach any type of anger next time.
3. Encourage emotional awareness:
Being emotionally aware is something your son can practice throughout his life. Knowing how he feels and why he feels a certain way is important. Being understanding of emotions can lead your son to a more fulfilled life because he will be able to manage his actions when his emotions rise.
One way to approach this is to coach him to realize when he is stressed. The first step to reducing stress is identifying what stress feels like. Share how your body feels when you are under stress and ask your son what he thinks it feels like.
Being emotionally aware can help your son relate to other people, know what others want, and becoming better at making choices. Even “negative” emotions (anger or sadness) can give your son insight into himself.
4. Manage your own anxiety:
Parents can sometimes let their own anxiety trickle down to their teenager. Some parents can be over bearing, critical, and have doubt in their son without knowing it. This will most likely make your teen son angry.
Quick tips to think about:
- Parents need to believe their son will become successful no matter what happens or what he does.
- Show warmth and affection.
- Keep worrying to a minimum.
5.0Talk in the car:
For teen boys, talking while doing something such as walking, playing basketball, or driving in a car can be more therapeutic than just sitting down. It can remove awkwardness or feelings that are uncomfortable.
Using indirect communication can sometimes help teen boys open more easily, especially when eye contact is limited. Just listen or ask a few starter questions. Your son knows you’re there.
6. Create some art:
Art is a way someone can easily express themselves. It’s an activity where your son can create whatever he wants. It is where he will be able to express complex feelings which can help him feel better or understand what he feels. It can also help parents “see” what they have expressed.
Another avenue parents think about is art therapy. It is a form of psychotherapy which encourages self-expression through creative activities such as painting, drawing, or sculpting. Art can be seen as a way to help people explore feelings, resolve emotional conflicts, develop social skills, reduce anxiety and restore a sense of well-being.
Why not give it a try?
Tell us your thoughts below! What works for you? Or, for more go to Teenagesons.com
Nancy Kay says
As a mom of a 16 yr old son, I really appreciate these ideas. My son’s father is very critical and not open to my son expressing his feelings or plans.
I can use these tips to help navigate the road ahead since I can’t control my ex, but I can control how I parent my son as we both move forward.
Steven Cessario says
Happy to offer some advice Nancy!