1. Clean out the lint in the dryer.
2. Invest in good shoes.
3. Live below your means.
4. Cotton clothing will shrink.
5. Milk has an expiration date for a reason.
6. Leaving lights on when you are not in the room does cost energy.
7. Thank God daily.
8. You actually do need to wash your sheets, blankets and comforter. Regularly.
9. The ATM does not continuously spit out money.
10. The lawn will turn into a weed garden if you don’t mow it.
11. The laundry room is not an additional closet.
12. Forgive easily and often.
13. Move each and every day.
14. The dishwasher is not magical. It doesn’t load itself.
15. I don’t care what people say. Wash your jeans.
16. Eat what your host provides and do not complain.
17. Clean under the refrigerator.
18. Change your underwear everyday. Every single freakin’ day.
19. Washing your hands WITH SOAP is the way to go.
20. Credit cards aren’t free. A bill actually shows up.
21. Put away your phone during meals.
22. Check your insurance policies yearly, if not more often.
23. Wear sunscreen. And moisturizer.
24. Learn how to use a crock pot.
25. Place an umbrella in the car.
26. Keep an eye on burning candles.
27. Watch the alcohol consumption, please.
28. Share. It’s just good manners.
29. Hold the bread as often as you can.
30. Load up on veggies.
31. Don’t buy a 20 foot Christmas tree. You see how much action that tree saw.
32. Pets don’t clean up after themselves.
33. Go to the bathroom before you go to bed.
34. Read books.
35. Don’t drink the milk from the carton. Gross.
36. Re-think the tattoo.
37. Buy Christmas gifts before Christmas Eve.
38. Write thank you notes.
39. Wear clothes that fit. Ahem…not too tight or too short.
40. Keep extra light bulbs on hand.
41. If you’re thinking chocolate, go dark.
42. Be slow to anger.
43. Limit the piercings.
44. Eat fruit every day.
45. Use coupons.
46. Own Tupperware. Eat leftovers.
47. Keep a fire extinguisher on hand.
48. Call home.
49. Pay your taxes.
50. Take pictures as often as possible.
51. Learn how to put air in your tires.
52. Steer clear of the cookies and potato chips.
53. Make your follow-up appointment immediately upon completing your previous appointment.
54. Don’t make fun of people with curly hair. Like your stepmother.
55. Jewelry is serious.
56. Wear rubber gloves when washing dishes.
57. Use less detergent than you are using right now. Trust me.
58. Girls, carry tissues. Boys, carry handkerchiefs.
59. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
60. Sweep under the bed.
61. Drink water.
62. Feel free to send your father and stepmother on a shamelessly, expensive vacation.
63. Clean your closets regularly. Donate what you don’t use or need.
64. Keep a tape measure on hand. Handy for hanging pictures. (And measuring your waistline).
65. You can use a towel more than once.
66. Beware caffeine.
67. Purchase multiple lint rollers.
68. Think seriously about getting a flu shot.
69. Comfortable mattresses are worth the price. Pillows too.
70. Learn about debt to income ratio. (Ask me or your dad).
71. Practice gratefulness.
72. Remember that cobwebs gather everywhere.
73. Keep candles, flashlights and a battery radio in your home in case of storms and/or power outages.
74. Wood burning stoves look really cool. And are really dirty.
75. Mopping, sweeping and vacuuming are great exercises.
76. Find a charity. Give your time and your money.
77. Don’t share headphones.
78. Keep a step stool handy.
79. Socks will make you slide on wooden floors.
80. Try the paint out on a part of the wall before you paint the whole darn thing.
81. Love what you do for a living.
82. Pull up your pants. Because I said so.
84. Check clothing labels for washing instructions.
85. Keep dark-chocolate covered almonds and Diet Rites on hand for when your dad visits.
86. Regularly replace your shower curtain.
87. Don’t overdo it on the antibiotics. It can backfire over time.
88. Kiss. (It’s good for you).
89. Chair rails need to be dusted.
90. Say your prayers.
91. Buy multiple plungers. Keep them handy.
92. Hot water and hot dryers shrink clothes.
93. Throw out dry cleaning bags. Hang clothes without them.
94. Just say no to white New Balance sneakers. That’s over. (Share this info with your dad).
95. Don’t squint. It causes wrinkles.
96. Get a starter tool kit, just in case.
97. Wipe down the cabinets.
98. Wood floors are best mopped with vinegar and water. Polish after cleaning.
99. Dancing burns calories.
100. Say yes more than you say no.
101. Repeat #48 above.