Your divorce is going to be difficult. The end of a chapter of your life is always difficult.
When you got married, you decided to spend the rest of your life with one person you loved more than any other. It never crossed your mind you might one day feel differently about this person. Unfortunately, the truth is nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, and there is no right or wrong way to deal with the decision to end your marriage, the aftermath of a divorce, or the feelings of sadness, loss, and even failure you didn’t expect. Now is the time to learn how to cope with your divorce so you can move on with a happier, better future ahead.
Let Yourself Cry
You want to be strong, and you are strong. The problem with being strong is so many men and women feel they’re not allowed to be anything but. This simply isn’t true. Good divorce attorneys will tell you the best thing you can do to keep your strength up is to mourn the loss of your marriage. Have a good cry. Scream, yell, wallow in your self-pity for a few hours or even a day. Your marriage is over, and you deserve a chance to mourn. The key is to set a time limit on your mourning. Once it’s up, it’s time to be strong. It helps more than you might imagine.
Make A List of Things You Want to Do
You suddenly have a lot more free time in your life, so why not start a list of things you’d like do to? Perhaps you always wanted to take dance classes but your spouse didn’t. Maybe you like to go to the movies by yourself, but your spouse always joined you. You can even make a bucket list of places to visit so you can travel the world on your own. You own your life, and you have no one to answer to.
Find Someone to Lean On
Pick someone to talk to, and let that person be your confidante. It’s time for you to find a trusted friend in your sister, your best friend, even your mom. Talk to this person, and let it all out. When you’re feeling down or frustrated, this is the person you’ll call to see about feeling better. They can let you talk about what’s on your mind and then ban you from speaking of it again so you can have a good time. This is your person, and you will appreciate all this person has to offer during this time.
Nothing makes you feel better than being active and healthy. Take those dance classes. Join the gym, plan a nightly walk, or join a team. You deserve to get your mind, body, and soul on the right track for you. More importantly, however, your body deserves to be active. Being active helps your body burn calories, but it also helps your body release healthy endorphins that improve your mood, lessen your stress levels, and make you feel better. If you add a healthy diet to the mix, you can further improve your body and your mind.
Talk to A Therapist
There is nothing wrong with seeking medical help when you need it. If you don’t feel that you’re coping well, this is helpful. You can find a doctor who will listen, help you, and allow you to get through this difficult time in your life. Don’t let yourself feel ashamed by seeking help. It’s the strong people who take it upon themselves to admit that they’re not handling things well and ask for help. You are strong.
Your divorce is going to be difficult. The end of a chapter of your life is always difficult, and that’s just a fact of life. When you focus on healing, you help yourself cope. Find the mechanism that works for you and run with it. You deserve a chance to be happy, so find it.