By Jordan Gray for Good Men Project
It will affect your health, your finances, and your emotional well-being more than almost any other decision you will make.
So why do some people rush into it so haphazardly… while others take forever to commit?
Do yourself a favor, and take five minutes out of your life to read the tips below.
With a little bit of self-reflection, you will see that the choice is clear… either the person you are seeing right now is amazing for you, or they aren’t.
Here are five ways to help you figure out if they are the right one for you.
1. It’s Easy
In researching for my newest book, I interviewed numerous couples who have been married for anywhere from 20 to 60 years, and they have all had one common denominator… it was easy.
They didn’t have multiple breakups, or plate-throwing fights, or countless instances of infidelity to muddle through.
They met. They liked each other. They started dating. It was easy. They got married. Then they stayed married because they liked each other.
There were no major road bumps that caused them to doubt why they were trying to force the relationship to work.
In the right relationship, you’ll realize that it takes effort, but it doesn’t take work.
2. The Important Stuff Is The Same
Do your core values align with their’s?
Do you both agree on whether or not you want kids? What does an ideal night look like to each of you? How frequently do you each exercise?
If you don’t know yourself and if you don’t know what values are truly important to you, you might find it difficult to determine whether or not they are the right one for you. If you find yourself searching for a partner to complete you, you might need to do some searching internally first.
If the big things match up, the little things fall by the wayside.
3. Your Closest Friends Like Them
Your closest friends and family members aren’t you, but they have a pretty good idea of who you are. In fact, recent research suggests that those closest to you actually know you better than you know yourself.
So if the people who have your best interests at heart don’t get along with your significant other, it could be a warning sign.
Have the patience and willingness to truly listen to your friends’ opinions on your relationship.
4. It’s Almost Scary How Much They Turn You On
You don’t want to hide them from your friends… you want to show them off.
You don’t have a passive-aggressive headache when they are in the mood… you find them so arousing that they distract you from your work.
You will want to devour them. You’ll want to know their thoughts, their feelings, and all about their sexual preferences.
You will adore their cellulite, eye wrinkles, and the way that they snort when they laugh their hardest.
You are attracted to their body, mind, heart, and soul.
And you’ll think you didn’t have a sex drive before you met them.
5. You Want To Make Their Life As Easy As Possible
Men are born problem solvers, it’s how we see everything. And the way you view your partner is no different.
But you don’t just want to show them the simple solutions… you will want to help them live the happiest and most uncomplicated life possible.
Your jacket will be flying off your shoulders before they even hint that they are cold. You will listen to them talk about their day and refrain from interrupting, even if you think you know exactly how to ‘fix’ it.
You will catch them before they fall.
If you have an unrelenting desire to help make their life as pleasurable as possible, take that hint: you really care about this one.
How To Know If They Are The Right One For You
No one is perfect. There will always be what Dan Savage refers to as the ‘price of admission‘ in any relationship…those tiny things that can be cute but are usually frustrating.
They don’t put away the bread after taking a slice. They never remember to hang up their wet towels. They snore after a night of drinking. But, when the big things are in place, that ‘price of admission’ is ridiculously worth it.
The right partner will inspire you to grow, to step up, to become the best you there ever was.
And you’ll want to fight to keep them. Not that you’ll need to.