Nothing can turn a technology challenged, middle-aged, working mom into a modern version of Inspector Gadget quicker than the suspicion that her husband is having an affair. Go ahead and ask me how I know.
One could argue that technology makes cheating more accessible than ever. There are plenty of stories out there about old loves connecting on Facebook; sites like Ashley Madison expressly made for the discriminating, dating spouse and infamous “sexts” between star-crossed lovers.
Ah, but what technology giveth, it taketh away. Technology leaves an electronic footprint which makes it even easier to discover the dalliances of a wandering spouse. Without further ado, let’s discuss eight tips you can use to catch a cheating husband:
1. Hire a Private Detective:
Insert Dick Tracy, a trench coat and a hat here. It’s a little pricey but it’s tried and true. Photographs that prove infidelity may be admissible during divorce proceedings if you live in a fault state or you have an iron-clad pre-nuptial agreement that contains language therein about infidelity. Consult an attorney to find out if it’s worth the effort and money.
2. VAR: Voice Activated Recorder:
These devices are very popular little buggers on infidelity support forums. Apparently they are most often placed in a car under the driver seat of a suspected cheater, and when they call their paramour, their end of the conversation is recorded. Not admissible in a court of law but handy for providing the truth if the cheater is gas-lighting you.
3. Portable GPS loggers:
They cost anywhere from $100.00-$200.00 and can be easily installed, by using a magnet, on the exterior of a car. It’s not live tracking but the information can be downloaded onto your computer. You can see everywhere your spouse has been if you dare.
4. Computer Key loggers:
Programs that are downloaded on to your home computer usually require a fee to store the information on a website. This makes it possible to track the activity of your spouse without actually logging on to that computer again. The information you get from the key loggers is dependent on the price you pay and how long you want the service. The cost ranges anywhere from $35.00-$200.00.
This should only be downloaded on computers that your family owns. It should never be downloaded on a computer provided by an employer! That will cause legal troubles for you that you don’t need.
5. Spyware for phones:
Spyware is a lot like a key logger. For a fee, it will record everything that happens on that phone and it will even tap into the phone’s location services to track everywhere your spouse goes. Like the keylogger programs, you only need access to your spouse’s phone one time and the program runs in stealth mode in the background. The information is sent to a website which you will pay anywhere from $16.99-$22.99 for a month or up to $150.00 for a whole year.
If your spouse has an iPhone it must be “jail broken” or if he owns a newer android it must be “rooted.” You also have to make sure the spyware is compatible with the phone’s operating system. Also, you should never do this to a phone that you don’t own! And whatever you do, don’t buy spyware that claims it can be put on a phone remotely without ever having access. It’s a scam!
6. Hidden cameras:
For those special cheaters, those who bring their mistress to their marital bed. Technology is a beautiful thing and now it hides in the most mundane household products. You can buy cameras hidden in clocks, teddy bears, and plants. Just google “Nanny Camera” and you’re on your way. Not for the faint of heart mind you.
7. Check their phone:
If you have a spouse that is arrogant enough to believe you’d never suspect them, a low-tech option is just to look at their phone while it’s unattended. Of course, most cheaters keep their phones by their sides at all times and have them locked down better than Fort Knox so this may not be an option. This would be one of the few times in life that someone else’s arrogance could work in your favor.
8. Trust your gut:
I’ve saved the best for last but it is by far the most useful weapon in a faithful spouse’s arsenal and in my humble opinion, the only weapon you need, and that is your gut instinct.
As humans, we are blessed with not only complex thinking abilities but also some very basic instincts. Our instincts tell us when a situation is dangerous and yes, being with a cheater is dangerous. Don’t believe me? Think about it: they put your health at risk when they have unprotected sex with someone else and then return home to you, they destroy your children’s sense of well-being when they break up their intact family. And don’t even get me started about how infidelity decimates your self-esteem when you are with an unfaithful spouse.
While those technology-laden suggestions above may bring about physical proof, it’s often not legally useful and could bring about a lot of anxiety. Once you read an email or a text message or see your spouse engaging in anything intimate with someone that isn’t you, it will haunt you. For a long time. Once you know it or see it, you can’t un-know it or un-see it.
If you trust your instincts, they will spare you from the actual knowledge while giving you enough information to make a decision. You may think you need physical proof, but you don’t. You only need to know when you’re being treated badly and the majority of cheaters in an active affair do treat their spouses quite awfully.
Stay silent about what you suspect, observe their behavior and trust your instincts. That’s all the proof needed to know if your spouse is having an affair. Trust me or better yet, trust yourself!