Kevin, now almost nine, spent the day with us yesterday. Atticus and I have agreed to try to get the kids together every other weekend, at least for awhile, to smooth the transition from living together to living apart.
So Atticus dropped off Kevin on his way to work, and Franny, Luca, Kevin and I biked, scootered, and walked our way over to the outdoor mall across the street.
It was a sunshiney, spectacular day, seductive in the way that February can be where we live, getting us used to the warmth and green-grass smell of spring when gloomy March is inevitably around the corner.
Kevin and Franny wanted to eat at the hot dog kisok, so Luca biked over to the taco stand. As we sat on the grass, I watched Franny and Kevin chatter away about Instagram and iPad minis, and barter onion rings for french fries, and I sighed, a deep, thankful breath for an amicable divorce that puts kids first.
What a gift you are giving these children! Divorce is never easy, but it is a thousand times more painful for children when parents are at war. I experienced this as a child and then saw my parents become friends again, which I so value, even as an adult. My own situation is impossible. My ex had told me this would be a war and he just won’t stop fighting, even with the divorce done. It hurts our children and that kills me. I work with divorcing parents and I practically beg them to put their egos aside and put their children first. Unfortunately, you need both parents to agree to that and that rarely happens. Good for you for putting your children first!
How nice to have them all together like that, even if only for a day. Plus they get french fries AND onion rings – wow, jealous!
I’m really sorry that’s the case in your own divorce. I think I know how agonizing it must be for you.
You are amazing! A truly wonderful human being who can acknowledge change is a good thing. Life can’t be made perfect for children; you can only teach them how to roll with the changes. Who knows what a perfect relationship is. In fact, what is the perfect life? Does anyone have one? I observe advertisements of happy couples getting older together, vacationing on far off isles, with plenty of money in their bank accounts and the kiddos graduating from Ivy League colleges. Usually the advertisements are for hemorrhoids, sleep apnea, or some drug you have to take to make you feel better for staying in the same crap you have remained in for years. Well, it must be the pharmaceutical reps life that is perfect. For the rest of us, trying to do the best with what we have been given (and it isn’t a Paris Hilton bank account), Kudos! Being content in your circumstances will give you freedom and changing those circumstances out of love and for love is liberty. I was never given a perfect life and I don’t expect to live one, I do, however, want to remain at peace every day, love unconditionally, teach my children to fly, laugh a lot and a little more, and once in a while have a good cry. Hugs for what you have been through and for what you are currently going through, the human condition.