Honestly, I threw up in my mouth a little when I saw this weeks Time magazine cover.
The first thought was just “ewwww.” I’ve always kind of subscribed to the theory that if your kid can walk over to you and ask, clearly, for a drink then they should be having it out of a cup. Also, really, a stepstool in the form of a chair? Gary Larson’s classic “Inconvenience Stores” cartoon went though my head. How long until a child who practices “extended breastfeeding” just walks over and latches on without needing a boost? And though undoubtedly the mom featured knows many like-minded moms, how horrified will her kid be in middle school or high school or beyond when his friends pull up this picture and repost it everywhere? Did I mention, ewwww?
I should share that I breastfed my oldest son for a year. I hated it to start. I have never felt so awful and isolated and so much a mammal: I’d given birth to live young and could feed it milk from my body. I spent hours and days and months initially locked away with him feeding or hooked up to a breast pump. There was a horrific array of products involved: pads, salves and specially shaped pillows with insultingly cute names. But it eventually got easier, then easy, and I kept it up for a year. Plus my breasts looked huge and fantastic.
My second son, six weeks premature with three hernias requiring surgery at three months in addition to the intial thirteen days in the NICU, was a hot feeding mess. He was born too early to know how to swallow, so he had a feeding tube. I spent hours and hours hooked up to a pump, like a farm animal, transferring the breastmilk to a bag, then a bottle, so he could be fed at the hospital and home. He eventually ended up on a hideous-smelling formula as he couldn’t tolerate the breast milk. But I kept pumping and hoarding my supply in the freezer until one day a few months in the power went out and I lost it all (milk, then mind).
In both cases I did what I felt was best for my kid. Which is what this mom on the cover of Time is doing. So can everyone just back the hell off of her? You don’t have to like her choice. It’s certainly not for me and, yeah, I’d probably double or triple take if I saw it in public. I’m snarky enough that I’m writing about it and judging. But like it or not she has taken a stance in this crazy complicated world of parenting and she’s sticking with it. She’s not caving to public pressure as she’s ripped apart in comment sections across the Internet. She’s not hiding out at home in the face of criticism. She’s calmly and rationally making the media rounds to express what she believes is best for her family. Isn’t that the best kind of mom? One who stands up for their choices? Who has educated herself on the options and choses one she believes in? Who stands by her convictions in the face of controversy and criticism? Who is a living, breathing, accessible role model for her child? I think so, even if it grosses me out.
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