Well, kids, it’s almost December 1 and you know what that means: soon the best organized of your friends will have their holiday cards in your mailbox. Ahhhh, the holiday card. That grand tradition where, under the guise of friendship and family, you send a greeting and well wishes to those near and far. Really though we all know what it is: a fantastic opportunity to present your family in the best possible light and, if you’re really lucky, create some insecurity in those who just barely made your list. Sure, your kids may act like assholes in public sometimes (Oh. Only mine? Sorry). Your neighbors may hear you screaming at them through the walls and acoss the walkway. They may have wreaked havoc across your community even. But, frozen in time and perfection, your little angels get the chance to redeem themselves on mantels across the country. In their matching sweaters, posed in front of an impossibly scenic backgroud (the sunshine-y beach in November, fall foliage or some other envy-inducing spot), with tiny white Chiclet smiles, your kids look straight out of the holiday Gap ad. Presented with this literal snapshot in time, framed by a tasteful yet festive card and printed inside with something seasonal but benign so no one is offended, those who’ve seen your kids as they actually are, may soon question their memories and be only remember the ones you’ve presented to them.
Thanks to this blog, ModernMom.com, Twitter and Facebook I don’t have to worry this year about presenting the perfect picture. The gig is up. That said, there are still quite a few people who may not know of my divorce who are on my holiday card list: teammates and some classmates parents sons, doctors and dentists, the local stores I frequent. So, I wonder, do I kill the proverbial bird with two stones and announce my divorce and proclaim best wishes for the holidays and new year at the same time?
Here are the options I’ve come up with so far:
(front of card)
(inside text)
2012 Trend Prediction
3 is the New 4
Happy New Year!
Susanna, Jacob and William
(front of card)
(inside text)
May Your New Year Be Full of Booty
and
May You Be Too Wrapped Up in Yourself
To Care About Anything Else
(Which is how my ex-husband spent 2011)
Here’s looking forward to dropped balls!
Susanna, Jacob and William
(front of card)
(inside)
Wishing You Fun and Travels in the New Year.
I’ll Be Laughing All the Way to the Bank
Susanna, Jacob and William
Leave a Reply