Woohoo!
Last night was Golden Globes night!
Woohoo!
Pretty clothes and hair!
Except it was boring.
I was bored with the fashion even.
There were mullet dresses, the high-low ones, I don’t hate them but I still call them mullet dresses.
Lena Dunham, for once, did not look like my Aunt Mae’s drapes but still,
bless her heart.
The rest were boring boring.
So, I kept flipping it to Downton Abbey.
Which was disturbing and depressing.
So basically, I missed most of 2 shows with my flipping.
Then, I saw Emma Thompson throw her shoes.
They hurt. She said the red on them was her blood.
But they were still fabulous.
Then, I started thinking OMG, I bet those beautiful women have ugly feet!
Then I started looking online at pics of their feet (I told you I was bored). I looked for hours.
I was mesmerized by the horror.
Because guess what?
THEIR FEET ARE HORRIBLY MANGLED FROM HIGH HEELS.
If you don’t believe it, look at the bunions on these gorgeous women:
Tilda Swinton
Victoria Beckahm
Another of Posh because it ithey are so, so bad
Uma Thurman
Iman
Naomi Campbell
Oprah Winfrey
Katie Holmes
Christina Hendricks who I love. LOOK AT HER FEET.
Help me Jesus to understand.
This is wrong, wrong, wrong.
I love pretty shoes as much as the next woman, but this is bad, bad.
The feet must be saved. We need to start a campaign. Bono needs to write a song to free our feet from this terrorism. Our toes are prisoners of war. They are saying,
“Father Bono, help us, help us!”
Srsly.
Why do we do it to ourselves?
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