It’s The Little Things

Sorry, I’m going to apologize in advance for being boring.  I had a boring day. We had horrid storms and rain here today and it was dark and dreary.  I split the weekend with Stanley because he had a beer event (for real,  this is getting so old, I’m so glad I’m not married to him anymore) so I did last night at the nest.  The kids and I had fun and it was all good other than boring.  The weather was so bad even the cable was cutting in and out which was harshing the groove of my Walking Dead marathon.  It’s awesome, I’m totally hooked.  But I have realized that Stanley is a bit of a Walker.  Flat affect, boring as hell…

 

 

 

I’m mad at Stanley.  We were due to exchange at 5 pm tonight and I realized at 4 that there was a 1/2 a roll of toilet paper in the house, so in the FLOODING, POURING rain, Merlot and I ran out to the gas station and paid $5 for 2 rolls of TP.  I told him when he came in and he said, “Okay.”

 

 

For real.
“No, Walker, the correct response is ‘THANK YOU’.”

I was sorry I sprung for the nice stuff, wish I had bought some that chafed.

The more I thought about it the madder I got.

Srsly, it brought back so many conversations where he was just plain, old, RUDE.

His mother didn’t raise him right, sorry, Mum, but

I’m about done making excuses for that shit.

Every morning when the kids leave for carpool I remind them to thank the other mother.

I hope they are learning basic social skills from my side anyway.

Sometimes it’s the little things that make you want to punch someone in the throat.

Just sayin.

Now I’m trying to let that go and think happy thoughts, which is hard for a natural pessimist.

It is going really well with my lovah.  But I am finding that blending all these children is hard work.  Between us, Al and I have 6 kids and 3 dogs, 2 houses, 2 exes, 2 jobs, 1 blog and 915 miles between us.  It is hard to juggle all this crapola.

I think that we will maybe end up together.  Maybe.

That is the best this pessimist can do.

If all of the crapola can be managed. 

So far, our weekends are just getting better.  When we do have conflict, we are able to talk it out and are learning some good methods of communicating that keep it open but still loving.  In some ways the distance has been helpful to how we communicate because we have had to work so hard at it.  I think both of us are blown away at times at how well we can navigate the landmines because we couldn’t navigate shit in our marriages.  He was with a crazy woman and I was with a Walker, so….

I’m so grateful to be with someone emotionally available now.

Al and I together just emote all over each other, for real.

We’re good, but all of these extra factors are just too much.  Some of it is getting better possibly.  Again I’m a pessimist, so possibly is the best I can do.

 Al’s house went on the market a few days ago, so hopefully he will get lucky and it will sell.  He needs that monkey off his back and by ‘monkey’ I mean her.  She calls and calls and calls.  He keeps telling me that when the house is gone they will have less to talk about and he can cut one more thread from her.   It’s like this, she calls and he doesn’t pick up.  She keeps calling and indicates an emergency so he calls her back.  She says, “Will you pay $3000 to paint the front of the house?”  He says, “That is not an emergency sort of question but the answer is no, I am not investing any more into the house.”  Then they hang up.  Then she calls back and asks the same question again.  This goes on for about a week.

 

I have never seen an adult who will ask and ask and ask the same question over and over when they are getting the same response every time.  I’ve seen him give her the same response over and over or I would never believe it.   Al says every thread clipped from her is progress.

He is more patient and says that the little things will add up to big things.

So, the house is hopefully going to move and the kids are doing good with our relationship so far.  My kids love Al, but they haven’t had him jammed down their throats.  He stays in a hotel every night I’m on nest duty and we have tried to respect them.  His son has spent time now with my kids in my home and at my table, so that is moving along.   When he left to go back to school last weekend, he shook my hand.

It was kind of like this……. 

“yeah, okay, bye bye.”

One day he is going to hug me.

The first time we met he didn’t make eye contact for 48 hours.  The second time, he said my name when he said goodbye, which was the first time he had said my name.  This time I got a handshake.  I figure that by Christmas, I may get a hug.   I am winning him over in little tiny increments at a time.  That’s okay, I’ll take it.

Now if only Stanley could learn to say “thank you”.