I know not all women will agree, but a man who is a man is a huge turn on. My alpha male works with his hands and plays guitar. He has a bad mouth and at times a bit of a short fuse. That may sound like a negative, but combine it with the fact that the soft side is ever present and he worships this girl like no one ever has and it’s pretty powerful.
Prior to falling in love with an alpha male, I had been married to a very passive husband. I was the pants wearer and decision maker. My “bossy” nature made me think this was what I needed in a mate. Someone who was good with me taking initiative and leading the way. As time wore on, however, I realized being the alpha in a relationship becomes tiresome.
I didn’t want to make EVERY decision or lead the way EVERY time. Trying to pinpoint where we went wrong in our marriage is tough, but the differences in how ambitious and driven we each are is probably the obstacle that was hardest to overcome.
Then along comes Alpha. He is strong and smart and capable. He knows what he wants and makes it happen. He makes decisions when I don’t feel up to it (even about little things like what to eat). He is fiercely competitive and the first to rush to my defense. He likes me being his and likes even more for other men to know I’m his. I see this in him and it makes me swoon.
I never thought I was the kind of woman to fall for a dominant man and end up in an affair with him. I thought surely I wanted to be in charge. However, being slightly more submissive (not entirely…don’t get me wrong) and allowing someone else to show they can handle what life throws at them has been like a breath of fresh air. I feel taken care of and protected and didn’t even realize those were things I wanted to be!
What’s so appealing about an Alpha Male?
Alpha males bring a certain amount of sex appeal as well. I know not all women will agree, but a man who is a man is a huge turn on. Mine works with his hands and plays guitar. He has a bad mouth and at times a bit of a short fuse. That may sound like a negative, but combine it with the fact that the soft side is ever present and he worships this girl like no one ever has and it’s pretty powerful. When it comes to me he is sensitive and patient. He treats women with respect and there is a certain chivalry to men who are men. They are a dying breed and I am lucky enough to have snagged one.
I believe the draw to alpha males for so many women is that we are a generation of powerful women. We want equality in our careers, at home and in life in general. With this, we have to lose some of our softness at times to be heard. An alpha male reminds women that it is ok to be treated like a lady sometimes. It is ok to not always be the dominant person in the room. It is nice to know that if you don’t take charge things may actually still get done and the world WON’T come to an end.
What are the drawbacks of the Alpha Male?
Of course, with any positive, there are usually a few negatives. At times his dominance is frustrating for this bossy girl. I do like things my way…and so does he…so we often have to make huge efforts to meet in the middle. We have to recognize when we are at an impasse and move on. I have to allow for a certain amount of bravado and chest-pounding that at times is sexy…and at times just makes me laugh. I know he wishes at times I would allow his alpha to really show and keeping him in check is something I’m still trying to figure out.
As with any male/female relationship, there are challenges and moments of frustration. However, his passion for life and for getting things done means that he will go above and beyond to ensure my happiness. He wants to be the man that saves me from others and from myself. I am learning to be ok with being taken care of. I love my sweet, demanding, sexy, frustrating alpha male and he loves me with his whole heart. Alpha or not that is what women want…the love and admiration of a flawed yet wonderful man.
Ugh…not this alpha vs beta trope again. You know it is entirely possible to be both alpha AND beta, depending on the situation. I am my own man and no one is going to tell me to do something that I don’t want to do. But as you yourself have discovered having to make every decision and initiate every advance in a relationship gets old real quick. This was my life married to a very passive agressive woman for 16 years. Now that I am divorced from said woman I will not be making that mistake again. If I’m dating or if I’m in relationship I’m going to be looking to my partner to contribute her share of effort. If I feel like I’m having to do all the work just to keep the relationship going them I’m to walk away. Life is too short to have to deal with that. Once around with BS is enough for me.
lol said like a true beta. An alpha male just wouldn’t complain about being the main decision maker and initiator because to them it’s not a chore, it’s so engrained in their character, it’s part of them. And if they’re with the right person, they understand what a turn on that is to their partner, who will gladly fuel the fire once it’s started. I dated a man who had both alpha and beta traits. He was an alpha at work, with his friends, in his business, but in his relationship – totally passive, soft, too cautious, had to rough him up just to get him to touch me like a man. Didn’t work, so I’m sure he thinks he’s a mix of both but he never really showed me that alpha side.
Wow…way to miss my point entirely. Personalities are not binary. There is no ‘Alpha’ or ‘Beta’ men. Anybody with an ounce of critical thinking would understand that those labels are just some evo-psycho babble Bull Shit. The two examples of people described in the article are extremes of certain types of personality. Most people do not have such extreme personality characteristics as they do. They usually fit somewhere in between. But hey, if an extreme ‘Alpha’ dude is what floats your boat then knock yourself out. Just understand the vast majority of men don’t fit into an extreme ‘alpha’ description. If that makes me a ‘beta’ then that’s is fine by me. Because I quite frankly don’t give a F’. And that’s about as alpha as you can get…
This is really interesting to me as I was married to a man who possibly sounds like yours in our early days. At first it was blissful and I loved being cared for and defended and being his soulmate…but then he started to get rough. After six years he was shoving me around and yelling in my face. Then he left me for his next princess. But, yes he was the sexiest man I’ve ever been with and I adored him when he wasn’t being abusive. I now realise he was a classic narcissist and abuser who love bombed me to addiction levels.
Now I’m with a man who is asuccessful alpha at work and a beta at home. However whilst he is a hundred times nicer and never abuses me and is also younger and better looking, I am nowhere near as sexually attracted to him. I have a much better and more peaceful life, but I miss feeling like a precious princess a lot. I now feel mostly like his mother. Not sexy.
More like leaving a beta for a beta pretending to be a Alpha. First you said he losses his temper. That’s a huge red flag right there. Alpha males do not lose their tempers as that is a loss of control and the one thing a Alpha refuses to do in life. Second you were married when you met. No Alpha would ever date a married woman. Loyalty is the most important thing to all Alpha males and the fact that you were a cheater would turn their stomach. What you have is a red neck beta male plain and simple. You left your beta male husband for another beta male and most likely will leave him too.
There is a male type which has alpha’s + traits and he hasn’t this – traits. He give female independence. He is sigma male.