Forget The Real Housewives, What About the Former Housewives?

I have never watched any of The Real Housewives shows, well not true, I watched a few of The Real Housewives of Atlanta until I was disgusted and quit.

However, I have latched on to Ladies of London on Bravo.

 

It is like The Real Housewives with accents.  I cannot get enough of it.

Several of the ladies are Americans and tbh, they are the worst.

All of them are wealthy.  A few have jobs but you never see them work.  You rarely see them take care of kids, all of them have full social calendars, and they are all impeccably dressed at all times.

Most of the time it’s on, I spend the entire time wondering how some of these bitches stay married.

Talk about self-centered.

This one is the worst.

Juliet, American, SAHM, total narcissist,

 

She is a Total shit-stirrer and takes no responsibility for the carnage left in her wake.

I love her.

How is she still married?  Her husband, Gregor (srsly an American named Gregor?) seems a nice guy.  He has to want to smack her half the time for her infantile nonsense.  How is she still married and so many of us are divorced?

We’re nice, right?

I guess it wouldn’t be as fun to watch a reality show about my life.  It would probably be pretty boring.

 They could film me doing carpool.

 

Seeing patients

Dealing with Stanley on the phone about kids

 

Talking with Al about his kids.

 

Checking Facebook

 

Having hot flashes

 

Going to Target for my Zoloft or index cards that the kids need for tomorrow.

 

Woohoo!  Stay tuned for the most dramatic day ever!  Carpool line will take 45 minutes!

 Exciting!  I guess I can see why there isn’t a show about Former Housewives,

a.k.a.

Divorced Moms

We work too damn hard making the world turn for errbody and it is too horrifying  to be entertaining.

I can’t imagine anyone would ever binge watch The Mundane World of Cuckoo Momma on Netflix.

Anyway, I’m kind of boring, as y’all can tell.

Life is just happening here.

The kids are going back and forth.  I had them a few extra days this week because Stanley and his gf both got the stomach bug from Jumping Bean and packed them up and sent them back to me.  I love having them so didn’t mind a bit.  They are finding the divorce kid shuffle hard though and I am so sorry for my role in that.  I saw on Jumping Bean’s text to a friend (Yes, I check sometimes, she is 13) where she told a friend,

“You are so lucky that your parents are happily married.  I hate this going back and forth all the time!  I want my parents to be happy but this is awful!”

Where is my damn hairshirt?  Forget it.

 

Al and I are doing great.  Back when we were deep into our Stupid Long Distance Relationship, we used to refer to the future when we would live together as Part 2.  Well, at least once a day, one of us whispers to the other,

“Part 2, doesn’t suck.”   

It doesn’t.  We are in a routine now, him working from home, me working from home and going out to work, do carpool, getting him out with me to do errands, then having kids part of the time and he and I being alone part of the time.  It is wonderful to be with him all of the time, but I will admit to missing some of our romantic weekend interludes when we clung to each other in lustful desperation before I drove him back to the airport.

Now, I get to sleep close to him every night, except not too close because of the damn hot flashes.  It’s not a glamorous life or one that I planned when I got married in 1998, but it’s mine and it doesn’t suck.