When faced with a divorce it is often difficult to know at what point you should think about talking to a lawyer. Divorces are never pleasant; they are time-consuming, require a financial investment, and if kids are involved it can take even longer and incur additional expenses.
It is ideal to talk to a reputable family lawyer specializing in divorces and child custody (if applicable) as soon as the idea of divorce enters the picture. This way you can prepare for the worse with expert help while hoping for the best. Once you find your lawyer, there is a certain protocol to follow that will make the process easier on you.
Here are 6 tips for choosing the best divorce lawyer who can help you achieve your divorce goals, and tips on how to work with him in a constructive manner.
1. Treat Your Divorce Lawyer Like a Lawyer
You need to be realistic when you sit down with your divorce attorney. Lawyers appreciate that their clients are hurt, angry, and emotionally devastated. But they are not therapists nor do they want to be treated like one. You may feel the urge to unload your emotional baggage on your attorney’s table but don’t. Not only will you put a strain on the professional relationship, but if you are charged by the hour you will be paying one hell of a bill for counseling services from the wrong kind of counselor!
2. Understand Your Priorities
Your goal is to get divorced without any huge hit to your lifestyle. If you allow your emotions to flare up in negotiations over material goods that have little or no value to you, you will simply delay the process and rack up your attorney fees. Avoid unnecessary litigious work and instead focus on your goals of getting that ring off your finger as cost-effectively as possible.
3. Is there an Alternative to Hiring a Lawyer?
In some cases, finding an alternative to traditional litigation will work just fine, if not better for the soon-to-be divorcee. If you don’t have children, a shared estate, a business, or mutual investments you could probably seek a mediator to help negotiate the terms of the divorce. Even if you have kids but both you and your spouse are both on board for being equal co-parents, a mediator specializing in collaborative divorces should be sufficient while saving you thousands. If, however, you have an estate, children, and tension is high, a family attorney specializing in divorces and child custody is your safe bet.
4. Choose Three Lawyers
You may be in a hurry to get the process rolling, but don’t jump on the first lawyer you talk to. Just because there are thousands of divorce lawyers doesn’t mean they are all the same. Do some basic online research; look for law firms and attorneys who have a polished online reputation with a professional website, and look for lawyers who have the legal knowledge specific to your situation along with proof they have won most of their cases.
5. Interview Your Top Three Divorce Lawyers
Now that you have the front runners identified, start interviewing them. Ask them to talk about their experience within family law. Ask them to paint a picture of their ideal client, and describe the main types of clients they have worked with. Talk about their rate and how they bill clients.
Most divorce lawyers offer a free consultation; don’t pay for the interview. You will also want to ask who will be responsible for handling the details of your case. Most lawyers don’t touch the day-to-day tasks that build the case. Instead, they designate this to a team or a paralegal. You should ask how often the lawyer communicates with the team or individual handling your details, and ensure the second party is trustworthy.
6. Look for Warning Signs
Unfortunately, some attorneys will tell people what they want to hear just so they can add another client to the books. As previously stated, divorces take time and are complicated. If the attorney promises you the moon on every single question you ask, this is a major red flag. You will want to find a lawyer who is upfront and honest in presenting you with realistic expectations.
No reputable lawyer will ever make a guarantee. You should also pay attention to how they communicate with you in the interview. If the attorney is easily distracted by incoming emails, phone calls, and foot traffic, it is a good sign he has issues in staying focused. Also, check with the state’s bar association to make sure the attorney is licensed, and no complaints have been filed against him.
Before you meet a lawyer face-to-face, speak to them over the telephone. It is important to be able to speak openly with your divorce lawyer, especially when discussing the details of your life during divorce proceedings or when trying to get custody of your child. If you don’t like how they speak with you during a telephone call, you probably won’t like them in person.
Divorce Attorney Phoenix AZ
Divorce is often highly emotional and challenging, but selecting the right attorney from the outset can help smooth the transition and streamline proceedings.
It really is important to listen to the article when it talks about warning signs that some lawyers give off. After all, you’ll want to make sure that you’re hiring a lawyer that care’s about your case and not one that is just looking for their next paycheck. That’s why it helps to make sure they aren’t doing things like promising a guarantee or just telling you what you want to hear.
I like your suggestion to research potential lawyers by going online and assessing the quality of their website. My sister told me she wants to start the process of divorcing her husband next month. The info you shared here should make it easier for her to find the right divorce lawyer to work with!
I really liked your tip to ask your top legal choices to tell you what a great client looks like and as about their paralegal team. Yesterday, I was talking to my sister about her relationship with her husband. She confessed to me that she is not happy. I want her to be the happiest she can be. I wonder if she should look into legal representation and serve divorce papers.
You mentioned that it is best to keep the emotions out of it when speaking to your divorce attorney. This way you are able to get across your priorities. My sister just found out that she is getting divorced, I will have to let her know about the tips that I found here.
It was interesting when you explained why it’s helpful to ask lawyers about the qualities of their ideal client when interviewing them. I need to start looking for a good family law attorney because I found out my husband cheated on a business trip last month and I want to get a divorce. I was feeling overwhelmed about interviewing lawyers before reading your article, so thanks for sharing!
My husband and I are planning to get a divorce due to irreconcilable differences. That’s why I’m looking for a lawyer who’ll be able to help me with this case. Thank you for this reminder by the way; I’ll make sure to be realistic with my station once I started conversing with my lawyer.
My sister has been thinking about getting a divorce because she has decided that her husband isn’t raising the kids the way that they should be and that he is being too harsh. She would really like to get a professional attorney to help her figure out what she wants to do. I liked what you said about how she shouldn’t unload her emotions on her attorney so that she doesn’t put a strain on their working relationship.
I want to go for divorce and I think the tips mentioned here in this article will help me. I want to sort out issues with respect to divorce from a professional. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for reminding us that getting a divorce is a huge decision and will undeniably have a huge impact on our lifestyle. My aunt is unfortunately going to seek a divorce after 30 years of marriage, and I can only imagine how challenging it will be for her to readjust to being a single mom. I will advise her to hire a lawyer who will also make it clear to her on how drastic these changes will be, so that she will be well-informed as well as well-prepared.
My husband and I want to divorce, and I’m looking for advice to be able to choose a good lawyer. I appreciate that you wrote this article and talked about the importance of choosing 3 lawyers you can talk to so that you get an idea of who will you feel more comfortable working with. I will make sure that I follow your advice so that I find the best lawyer for my needs.
I appreciate your advice to focus your attention on getting divorced and to avoid unnecessary litigious work. I can only imagine how complicated divorce is. I hope I never go through it but I’ll talk to a lawyer soon if my wife and I keep fighting.