To The Man Who Loves Me Next

 The man who loves me next, this is what I want you to know. 

Hi New Man

We’ve known each other for a little while and have spent some time together, you might be starting to think of the future and I am starting to wonder where things are headed and as well. Before we take the next step in this funny game of life and love I thought I’d write you a letter to explain some things to you as the man who is going to love me next.

I guess you’re expecting me to launch into a list of things that I don’t want you to do, a list of things my ex husband did to me and how much it hurt and I would never want to be in that position again.

But I’m not going there.

You see, I am a different person now and you are not my ex husband. I have been broken and have rebuilt not only my life but myself. It has taken me a while to see that not everyone is going to hurt me like he hurt me.  That not every relationship is going to end. That there is still a forever.

So for you, the man who is going to love me next, I have one piece of advice. Be honest not only with me but yourself. Be honest about your hopes and dreams and know what you want from life and as the woman who is going to love you, I will support you 100% to make sure it all happens.

One thing I learned in marriage therapy was what I want from a relationship and that is a partnership. I know that in order for a relationship to be successful there must be a solid foundation and that is what we will be building now. A strong foundation based on things we have in common, dreams we have and a desire to achieve those dreams together. 

8 things you should know about me.

1. I have spent over 12 months working on myself and healing from my failed marriage and I surprisingly have very little baggage. I am ready for the next phase of my life, I’m ready for the next love. 

2. I know my worth and what I deserve and I will not settle. I have become independent and I’m not afraid to express my views and opinions. I pay my own bills and whilst sometimes it’s a struggle I don’t ever expect and will never ask for your assistance.

3. I no longer believe in marriage, it’s expensive to go into marriage, it’s expensive to get out of marriage and in the end, the commitment or lack thereof is the same. I no longer see the point of a diamond ring, white dress, and fancy party. If I choose you and you choose me you will get the same commitment from me without the hoopla of a wedding.

4. Don’t rush me to meet my children because I made a pact with myself a long time ago that no one will be in their lives unless I am 100% sure it is forever. That doesn’t mean I’m not sure about us, it just means I have 4 young boys who watched their family fall apart and are still healing. They require stability in their lives and at this point, 16 months post-divorce I am not ready for them to have to share my time with someone else. When they’re with me they get 100% of me.

5. My boys have a father and I am not looking to you as a replacement father but you will be a role model to them and as things move forward you will spend a lot of time with them.

6. I want to be able to relax in a relationship.  I want to be able to exhale. I want to feel something permanent. I want to be able to experience life. To laugh and have fun. I want us to work together to achieve our goals, to build a life, to have an equal say in the big decisions and to live happily ever after.

7. I want romance, I want date nights and I want these to continue for many years to come.  I want to be loved as much as I love.

8. I still believe in love, I believe in soul mates, my heart is open and ready so let’s do this!