It’s not always obvious that you are in an abusive relationship. Many times in abusive relationships the victim will believe they are to blame or deserve the abuse.
The recent global pandemic has brought couples closer than ever.
Unfortunately, closeness can be a hell behind closed doors for victims of domestic violence.
“Stay at Home” Orders: A Living Hell For Victims of Domestic Violence
According to Katie Ray-Jones, the CEO of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, perpetrators are threatening to throw their victims out on the street so they get sick. They are also using this time in isolation to withhold financial or medical resources or medical assistance.
Times of social distancing and isolation can be an opportunity for an abuser to unleash violence on their victim. According to recent reports, since the “stay at home” orders have been issued, the YWCA, a non-profit organization for victims of domestic violence, reports that they have seen a 50% increase in calls.
This is an important reminder that not everyone is safer at home.
Signs of an Abusive Relationship
According to the World Health Organization, one in three women will experience sexual or physical violence in their lifetime. It can happen in times of peace and stability, but domestic abuse can elevate when crisis strikes.
Abuse can be any action, physical or emotional, that is cruel and violent or intended to cause harm to someone. The first step to seeking help for abuse is knowing what signs to look for.
Jealousy
Jealousy has no place in a healthy relationship. Many times in abusive relationships jealousy will start off as a minor annoyance, but can quickly escalate into a daily problem.
The first signs of jealousy can be to gradually isolate you from family and friends. Jealousy can also include constantly accusing you of cheating or flirting with other people.
Possessiveness and Control
When possessiveness and control rear its ugly head in a relationship, the outcome can be extremely damaging to a person’s mental health. Constant “check-ins” on your whereabouts and who you are with can be the main sign that your partner is possessive or controlling. In addition, a possessive partner will try to control where you go and who you see.
Signs of Possessive or controlling behavior include:
- Checking your phone or computer without your permission
- Constant calling you or texting you and asking who you are with
- Constantly putting you down
- Explosive temper
- Mood swings
- Gaslighting
Physical Violence
Physical abuse is any intentional forced and unwanted contact with you or something close to you. Sometimes abusive behavior doesn’t cause any pain or cruises, but it can have a lasting emotional impact.
Examples of Physical Abuse:
- Scratching, punching, biting, strangling or kicking.
- Throwing something at you such as a phone, book, shoe or plate.
- Pulling your hair.
- Pushing or pulling you.
- Grabbing your clothing.
- Using a gun, knife, box cutter, bat, mace or another weapon.
- Smacking your bottom without your permission or consent.
- Forcing you to have sex or perform a sexual act.
- Grabbing your face to make you look at them.
- Grabbing you to prevent you from leaving or to force you to go somewhere.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual violence refers to crimes like sexual assault, rape, and sexual abuse. Typically, a partner who is physically violent is also sexually abusive. Intimate partner assault and rape are intended to intimidate, control and demean victims of domestic violence.
According to, The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)’s, “Women who are sexually abused by intimate partners suffer severe and long-lasting physical and mental health problems, similar to those of other rape victims. They have higher rates of depression and anxiety than women who were either raped by a non-intimate partner or physically but not sexually abused by an intimate partner.”
Get Help Immediately
Toxicity in relationships usually gets worse, if you find yourself in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, it’s important to know you are not alone.
Domestic violence advocates are urging women who are not in forced quarantine or isolation to seek help immediately. For victims already in isolation, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is rapidly working to develop strategies to help those who are in lockdown.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline via text or call at 1-800-799-7233.
FAQs About Domestic Abuse:
Do victims of abuse know they are in an abusive relationship?
Many victims of abuse don’t realize that they were in an abusive relationship. Victims believe they were abused because they must have done something to deserve it.
Has pandemic made life more difficult for victims of domestic abuse?
Perpetrators of abuse have found a new way to torment their victims during pandemic; they are threatening to throw them out on the street so they get sick. National Domestic Violence Hotline CEO Katie Ray-Jones says the perpetrators are also denying medical assistance to their victims—and in cases withholding finances.
Has pandemic provided opportunity to abusers?
Pandemic has indeed provided an opportunity to perpetrators of violence to abuse their victims more frequently and freely. A non-profit organization for the victims of domestic violence says domestic abuse saw a 50 percent increase after the authorities issued the stay at home orders—as evident from the phone calls for help.
How many women fall victim to sexual or physical violence?
One in three women fall victim to sexual or physical abuse, according to the data collected by the World Health Organization. Women are subjected to violence in times of peace as well as stability. Domestic violence, however, sees a hike when crises emerge.
Does abuse mean physical assaults only?
Abuse is not only restricted to physical assault as it includes emotional harm too. Understanding of both aspects of abuse is crucial for seeking help against it.
Is jealousy in a relationship a form of abuse?
Jealousy in an abusive relationship can become a source of abuse on regular bases.
How do I know if jealousy has crept into our relationship?
You will know jealousy is spoiling your relationship when your partner starts to isolate you from family and friends. Other signs include accusations of cheating or flirting.
Is possessive behavior bad for a partner’s health?
Possessive behavior reflects that your partner wants complete control over you as if you were a guinea pig. Such a relationship is potentially damaging for your mental health. If your partner keeps asking you about your whereabouts, it often is a case of possessiveness and control in a relationship.
What are signs of possessive or controlling behavior?
You can safely say that your partner is possessive or trying to control you when he checks your phone or computer without asking you, calls or texts you to ask who you are with, puts you down and shows bad temper, besides gaslighting you.
Is physical abuse harmful for the victim’s emotional health?
Physical abuse is forced contact, which can be in the form of pushing, shoving, kicking, pulling hair, etc. Sometimes perpetrators of physical violence will also hit or kick things close to you; it may not cause pain or bruises to you, but it can leave lasting emotional impact.
What are examples of physical abuse?
Examples of physical abuse include scratching, punching, biting, strangling or kicking; throwing something at you; pushing and shoving; grabbing your clothes; using a gun, knife or any other weapon to intimidate or harm you; smacking your bottom without your permission; grabbing your face to make you look at them, etc.
Why do intimate partners sexually assault you?
Intimate partners sexually assault victims of domestic violence to intimidate, control and humiliate them.
What happens to victims when intimate partners sexually assault them?
Women experience physical and mental health problems—similar to those of rape victims— when their intimate partners sexually assault them.
Is help available for victims of domestic abuse?
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline via text or call at 1-800-799-7233.
I think that the people behind this situation have no care at all for those who are being abused in any way in their locked down homes. The outside of a house may look nice, but inside not so nice. So long as their agenda is accomplished, there will be losses. Sad state of human affairs.