There’s a guy at work that gives me the creeps. He views himself as somewhat of a Casanova and like a good predator, he has a knack of hitting on anyone he thinks is target-worthy. Well, my cubicle is somewhat accessible and he’s been stopping by regularly to engage in conversation. I’m not rude, but I’m not overly friendly. Everything is business as usual from my side but that doesn’t stop him from gushing out the empty flattery. I can see how women who aren’t emotionally secure or self-confident would be lured into his web of cheating (yes, he is married). It’s like he looks for the weak members of the herd to wear down.
Believe it or not, I’m a fan of marriage and look forward to having a fulfilling long-term relationship in the future. Whether it’s with Husband #2 or someone else, I know that finding love again is in my future. Blame that darn optimism of mine.
But most importantly, if Husband #2 and I end up splitting permanently, it’s important for me not to rush into a new relationship too quickly. I know that getting into a rebound relationship isn’t good for anyone involved. If I were emotionally weak, the Creeper’s advances would start to look appealing.
Let’s face it, nights are long, weekends gets lonely and eventually the strongest of us succumb to bad decisions. So how can one avoid falling into the lure of a rebound relationship? Especially with someone we know is nothing but bad for us?
I’ve got the answer. Do these things and you’ll have no chance of falling into a relationship you’re just not emotionally ready for yet or that you’ll end up regretting when you finally wise up.
- Wear those control-top, granny underwear
I love the scene in Bridget Jones’ Diary where she contemplates wearing the hideous granny panties only to have Hugh Grant openly mock them later when they get busy. Sporting awkward underwear will pretty much guarantee that you will be too embarrassed to take off your clothes.
- Stop all shaving activities immediately
Building off of the concept above, having furry legs and…ahem…nether regions will keep you from allowing anyone to touch the fuzz. Really. What feels less sexy than making a phffft phffft phffft sound when walking. Kind of like built in corduroy pants. At least you’ll be warm in the winter.
- Talk about having sex with your ex a lot
If you want to turn off a future lover, talk about your ex. It won’t matter if you praise them or trash them, just keep saying things like, “When my ex-husband and I made love, we __________” and just fill in the blank with whatever comes to mind.
- Be needy
Acting like an insecure mess will propel you right into Camp Neediness. Cross personal boundaries. Men are especially repelled by needy partners. Ask the potential new guy to help you move. Don’t offer any beer or pizza. Then cry about how you miss having a serious boyfriend and can’t wait to be married again. Instant repellant!
- Bring your kids
Especially helpful if they are surly teens or high maintenance toddlers. If at all possible, ask the new person to change a diaper or two. Make sure to feed your child a high fiber meal prior to your date. Refer to the person you’re trying to shun as, “your future daddy”.
Using these tactics will help you to avoid a rebound relationship and allow you to focus on your healing so you enter your next marriage as a fully functioning adult. The only real danger you may face is being hit by a swinging door as the object of your “temporary desire” heads for the hills.