Another pearl of wisdom from the Restoration Hardware catalog!
I don’t care what is written about me as long as it isn’t true.
~ Dorothy Parker
Unlike Dorothy, I do care what is written, and said, and thought about me. Actually, I should say, I DID care. I don’t any more. What someone thinks about me is none of my business. Caring about how others perceive me only leads to perfectionism and craziness.
I’ve read a lot of Brené Brown lately and enjoy her books. They deal with uncomfortable topics like shame and vulnerability and how they link directly to joy and whole-hearted living.
Perfectionism is a way to avoid shame. It’s not about self-improvement and doing your best. Rather, perfectionism revolves around doing things with the goal of avoiding judgment, blame, and criticism. We work to “fit in” rather than be our authentic self.
Perfectionism does not encourage or enjoy failures.
Lately I’ve found that I like failures. It means I’m trying something new and pushing myself to learn things I’ve not attempted before. Writing this blog is one of those things. My friend, Cathy Meyer at About.com, encouraged me to start writing. I have known Cathy since Divorce #1. My Husband #1 and her ex-husband were practically clones of each other. The only difference between the two of us is that she’s slightly older than I am, she has more life experience, and a better view of the big picture. She’s the writer between the two of us. I’m the comic. She’s the brilliant one. I’m the student at her feet. She keeps me grounded when I’m frantic. She sings my praises when I can’t see them. I love being her friend.
I took a chance by blogging, internally feeling I wouldn’t have anything important or interesting to say. Somehow I ended up with 57 possible blog topics after writing my first post This Ride is so Much Fun i’ve Decided to do it Again. Some of the topics work, some of them are on the back burner waiting for a brilliant stroke of insight to finish them out. I find myself writing 4-5 posts a day with my brain racing along. I added a voice recorder app to my phone because I thought of too many great topics while driving.
The second area I’m making mistakes in is cooking. Just like the movie, Julie and Julia (based on the book Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously) I’m making it my year with Pinterest. I’ve decided to try a new Pinterest-inspired recipe at least 3 times a week. One of the favorites so far? Garlic Cheese Rolls. I modified the recipe to make it my own creation. Son #1 suggested adding pepperoni to the mix. I have to agree it’s worth a shot. The Buffalo Chicken Sandwiches weren’t as great as I would have liked them to be. I think it turned out a little too runny and the brand of frozen chicken I used didn’t flake apart as I had hoped. But it was eaten by the family. Next time I’ll go with my tried and true frozen chicken of choice.
The third area I’m making mistakes in is conversations with the kids. I’m feeling a little like the song, 1985 by Bowling For Soup. The oldest rolls his eyes at me. The youngest still thinks I’m “the bomb”. I guess I’ll live with the scorn of one and bask in the love of the other. Who knew that the same behavior could translate so differently depending on age?
I’ll end with the words of Samuel Beckett, “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”