While I’m taking advantage of the Summer of Me, I decided to work on my own Happiness Project. Basically, I’d like to sit down, listen to my innards and figure out what it is in life that really makes me happy.
I’ll admit I’ve lost myself somewhere along the way. it doesn’t really matter what the reasons were (marriage, supporting husband’s career, children, getting bogged down in the unimportant), I just know that I’m not who I used to be. I look back and remember a younger woman who was “bold and strong and waiting for the world to come along” to quote Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam. For me, the song “Better Man” wasn’t about the woman not being able to find a better man to marry…it was more about the sadness of recognizing that she lost who she used to be when she was younger and bolder.
To start finding myself again, I found 11 questions to ask myself on WikiHow. (I love WikiHow. You can ask about anything and find answers. My recent questions were how to change the battery in my key fob and how to get over a break-up.)
For Step 1 of my Happiness Project, I’m digging deep to answer:
- Where have I been and where am I going in life?
- What vices do I need to remove to start with a clean slate?
- Do I have a need to be loved by all?
- Can I learn to rely on myself?
- What is my career path?
- What will I do to immerse myself in solitude?
- What are my big picture questions?
- Will I record these items and work on them?
- How will I act upon my newly discovered knowledge?
- Am I ready for dead ends?
- What can I do to serve others?
I’m excited to start this new journey and realize that it will be difficult AND fun. I must work within the boundaries of my current life responsibilities while making room for the new parts of me.
I’m sure the kids will think I’m crazy somewhere along the line…