How many times have we read that women file for divorce more often than men? How many times do we dismiss the reality that most of the time, it takes two to make a marriage work and two for it to fall apart?
And I say most of the time, because there are certainly occasions when a third party may enter with the intention of breaking up the couple.
Some may say that everything were great between the spouses then no third party could screw that up.
I would argue that point, but moving on…
The issue of who files has nothing to do with “blame” for the breakup of a marriage, though many would wish that to be the case. Those who say “she filed so she must have wanted out” are both naive and clueless.
What if there has been a prolonged pattern of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse? What if there were promises to clean up his act when it comes to drinking, and for the sake of her own survival and a decent home for the kids, she just can’t tolerate the alcoholism any longer?
It may be a slow climb back to trust, but I can imagine making that climb – especially when there’s a family unit that has been solid to date. A pattern of persistent straying – and it isn’t okay with you? Just how many third parties does it take before a woman finally decides to file?
Who files has little to do with what goes wrong in a marriage. Statistics on filing are just that – the person who initiates the paper work and process. To those who insist on making assumptions about filing, I say – stop!
It’s a statistic with no real substance to learn from. It’s obfuscation, a smoke screen, a mechanism for pointless gender bashing. Statistics on women filing for divorce tell us nothing of what went wrong in the marriage, much less how much time or effort was spent trying to resolve it.