Hey Kids! Let’s Play the “Abusive Parenting at Disneyland” Scavenger Hunt!

Rules: For every one of the behaviors listed below, add a check to your (mental or physical) card on your next trip to any Disney park. It shouldn’t be too hard to find them, they’ve everywhere! I’ve added some bonus items for extra fun, more heinous than abusive.

1. Parent threatening to hit/spank/or otherwise beat their very young child for not waiting patiently in a 45 minute line for a three minute ride.

2. Parent building up the terror factor for their young child before their first time on the ride, midway through the line, so there’s nowhere to go.

3. Parent belittling their young child post-ride for getting scared (presumably after build up detailed above).

4. Parent actually hitting or spanking their young child while in the Happiest Place on Earth (apparently not for parent or child). Extra points if it’s in retaliation for things natural to a child: playing with the line chains, climbing while waiting in line, complaining about the long line or whining.

5. Making a child pose with an intimidating, huge, costumed character despite the child sobbing in fear and desperately trying to get away. Extra points if the parent is oblivious and yelling “smile, honey!”

6. Parent making very little, overly tired children walk because their stroller is too full of Disneyana (Public Service Announcement: Disney is a destination and entertainment source, not a decorating theme for adults).

7. Taking a child into gift stores and then denying every purchase because they just came in “to look.”

Heinousness Bonus Round:

1. Mother trailing her family by multiple feet to yards because she’s hobbled by her high heels.

2. Ladies only: inadequate breast support. I don’t know what it is about Disneyland that makes women want to pare down their undergarments but no one wants to see that. Especially in a tank top.

3. Custom-made family t-shirts with slogans like “Donald Rules, Daffy Drools.” Really, this is where you’re choosing to take a stand? Over cartoon birds?

4. Bringing a newborn by itself, not with other older siblings. Really, you just HAD to go to Disneyland soon after giving birth? If the baby can’t hold it’s head up, it probably shouldn’t be on a ride.

Who’s in?