1. Don’t, just don’t, use the word “taco” in your username. We know what a taco is and being a “tacowhisperer” is not impressive.
2. In fact don’t use the term whisperer either, in any way for your username. If you were a real “muffinwhisperer,” then you wouldn’t need to yell at mine.
3. Don’t message me that you want to do things with my orifices, and not ask my name first. It’s Kate and no you certainly may NOT. Gross.
4. Jet skiing is a once a summer thing. Don’t post a hundred pics and make out to be a trophy holder.
5. Save the shirtless and dick pics for our one-year anniversary. Not our first introduction.
6. Saying you like long walks on beaches is about original as saying you enjoy toast for breakfast. Get eggs benny creative.
7. If you’re only interested in thin, athletic, girl next door women who are drama free, forget it. She isn’t on here, she never needs to be.
8. If you wear a hat in every pic, we get that you’re bald and that’s sexy. But sunglasses in all your photos? You’re married. Next.