According to every viable source on the planet, women do in fact initiate divorce more than men. For a married couple with children, women initiate divorce two thirds of the time. With or without children, the number still hovers around the 68.9 percent. That was fairly exact, right? Exact and intentional.
I could cut and paste two hundred more hyperlinks to articles that cite statistics and reasons for the initiation. But we here at DivorcedMoms are nothing if not efficient and customer service oriented. Thus we’re brining the top 5 reasons to you!
Reason 1: Men behaving badly.
In the criminal infidelity system, the marriages are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups. The men who commit the crime and the distraught wives who discharge the marriage.
Has anyone else watched ‘Law & Order’ way too many times? Yay, me too. By the way, I love that women are developing a zero tolerance policy to cheating. Interestingly enough, there have been recent studies that suggest men are more tolerant of infidelity than women.
Reason 2: Boredom.
Women very often need more than their man can provide, especially when it comes to intellectual and emotional intimacy and a sense of adventure and surprise. There is a line in the film ‘Love Actually’ wherein Emma Thompson’s character says to Alan Rickman’s character, “don’t worry, my expectations are not that high after 13 years of Mr. “oh but you always love scarves.”
What she felt in that moment represents a microcosm of what a lot of women feel when the marriage has moved beyond the honeymoon phase. Eventually, women will tire of prodding their husbands to be more spontaneous and intimate.
Reason 3: (The idea of) someone else.
There are countless studies that indicate cheating women are on the rise. Here’s one. It’s interesting. But what I find more interesting is the reason behind the increase. Women cheat when their needs are not being met and there are financial and familial reasons for keeping the marriage intact. Some cheat with the desire to be caught as a means of getting their emotionally absent husbands attention. In addition to this hotbed of information, it is estimated that 30% of wives who have not cheated, have had a strong desire to do so.
Whether a wife had someone else or the strong idea and desire of someone else, divorce will be something that they eventually initiate.
Reason 4: Women want an equal partner.
Today, 67% of married women work outside of the home. In 38% of those cases, they out earn their husbands. What’s more, men do 9 hours of housework a week compared to their wives 21 hours. I’m all out of statistics but hopefully I’m painting a picture for you. Women are not cool with having a partner that does not do their fair share. It’s even worse when the disparity is not noticed or appreciated by their partner.
Reason 5: Women expect more from a marriage.
This really is the overarching reason. It also happens to be my favorite reason since I strongly believe that we teach people how to treat us. To women of a time long gone, societal expectations were at the heart of marriage and the experience of marriage. Men and women alike played a role that, at the time, seemed appropriate to the social construct. There are plenty of arguments from historians and psychologists that get to whether women were truly happy in those days. I’ll simply note that women did not know what they did not know. Once they began to get out and spread their wings however, watch out world!
Women now expect more out of life and more out of marriage. Less women find it acceptable to be in a loveless, boring, selfish, or abusive marriage. They will try to work things out through dialogue and compromise but once they conclude that things are irreparable, they are a lot more comfortable initiating divorce.