So, you are single and ready to mingle? Isn’t that how the phrase goes? Let me just say that I am slightly jealous, even if I am (and I am) happily married. Single people love being single, especially after a divorce. This is true even if they eventually want to get married again.
Why are they so happy you ask? Let us count the reasons!
Felt suffocated much? Well, you’re not alone. 34% of divorced women note that they felt suffocated during their marriage. Well when you’re single after all of those years of marriage, you can find your independence easier. You are no longer trapped in the controlling, or overly clingy mannerisms of another person. Speaking of…
If you want to date around, date around. If you want to have a fun, healthy, and casual sexual relationship, do what makes you happy! Perhaps you are motivated to find a healthy, monogamous relationship? Maybe, just maybe, you want to stay single and get to know you again. Go ahead and do you! When you are single, you are, by definition, not committed to another adult and their expectations or desires. This can be both necessary and healthy.
With freedom comes options. Marriage is grand when you are married to someone that you have a healthy physical, intellectual, and emotional, chemistry with. Otherwise, it can be stale. Being single gives you the independence to roam free, the freedom to put yourself out there and explore in any way you so choose, and many options along the way until you have found a situation that makes you hum. And let’s face it, we all deserve to hum!
When you’re married, your friends are your support structure and that is the bees knees. When your single, your friends are your entourage and that is the bees knees and the wings. You turn to your friends to help you rediscover your energy and spontaneity and they will deliver. Calls and texts turn into happy hours and you suddenly remember that Friday nights used to be a thing for you. Friends in your single life are a must and they absolutely take on a different dynamic than they did when you were married.
Many of my divorced clients have shared with me just how much they love being able to spend money however they wish. This applies regardless of how much or how little money they actually have. Part of being married means being mindful and responsible to your spouse about how the money is spent. When you’re single, you will love not having to check-in with another adult about that!
As Bruno Mars so ably sang, ‘Today I don’t feel like doing anything. I just want to lay in my bed.’ Well heck, that can be you every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Okay, so maybe that’s not overstating it a little, what with jobs and kids but there is still one less person you are beholden to in the responsibility department. You will love this! This is especially true if you were married to a chore whore-that person who was over zealous about tasks and errands, often at the expense of fun and relaxation.
So, how does that sound to you? What else would you have added to the list that I did not include? This inquiring mind would love to know!