Divorce is like an earthquake, a tsunami, a thousand little heart attacks and they don’t hit all at once as you would suspect they might. Oh no. The little devils keep coming at you when you least expect them and you never know when you will find yourself shaking in your boots, drowning in your own tears or clutching your chest in abject pain whenever something reminds you of the love you had, that now is lost.
Time goes by and little by little, day by day, you come around to yourself again; feel like the worst is behind you and you can truly move on. But just when you think everything is on an even keel at last, bam! You run into your ex out of the blue or he calls you and there you are, shaken, stirred and a little bit out of your mind. But fear not, this is to be expected. After all, when your world has been rocked to its core you are bound to be the recipient of an aftershock or two.
If this were an actual earthquake, there would be steps to take. Ways to protect yourself from serious injury or death, (OK, death might be taking it a bit too far…) but unfortunately, that is not the case with the emotional aftershock. You can’t stand in a doorway or dive under a table to protect yourself from the falling detritus of your feelings. You just have to deal with it. Again. But I will tell you that the aftershock is by its very nature, a much milder event than the initial earth quake that you experienced and definitely does not have the same devastating effect on your life. Sure it’s unexpected and might throw you all over the place; it might even evoke an episodic storm or two. But this time, the terrible shaking and quaking will be over much more quickly and you will marvel at how strong you have become. In fact, you might even be amazed at how truly resilient you are, so be thankful for that and revel in it.
I can’t help but be reminded of that old song that starts “Standing on shaky ground, ever since you put me down.” Now, when I sing it, that song makes me want to dance, but there was a time when it would have made me want to weep and scream. However, I got through it and, let me tell you, so will you. As long as you keep the liquor cabinet fully stocked at all times, keep your best friends on speed dial and check your caller ID before you pick up the phone you’ll be just fine. Try to steer clear of his old haunts for a bit and don’t worry if an aftershock or two comes to call. It’s an inevitable part of things and although you might feel like life will never be peaceful again, believe me, it will. Eventually, the aftershocks will come to a halt and you’ll find yourself looking down the road at a new life unfolding. And you’ll realize that finally, you are standing on solid ground.