Despite the fact that I have been divorced for quite a few years now, I must admit that I still harbor romantic notions about love. Just because marriage didn’t work out for me the first go-round doesn’t mean I’m out of the game, does it?
Or does it?
I suppose the answer to this lies at the feet of the big question. Do I still believe in marriage; in the institution itself? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, not because there are any offers on the table, but because I like to be prepared for any eventuality. Would I ever get married again if asked? Would it all work out the second time around or would I end up, once again, wearing a tangled noose of disappointment around my neck which would all but strangle the life out of me? Hmm…it’s a tough choice.
There are perfectly good arguments to be made on both sides of this question and so I decided to write a short list of pros and cons; put it all down on paper where I could better assess the possibilities. I advise you to try this at home; your list might look different than mine. or maybe it will look just about the same.
Pro: Getting married is romantic.
Con: Marriage kills romance.
Pro: I’d like to have a life partner.
Con: That’s what I thought I was getting the first time.
Pro: I’d love to be in love.
Con: You don’t need a license for that.
Pro: This time I’d make it work.
Con: Why should it be any different the second time?
Unfortunately, when all was said and done, this list, as short as it is, made me feel more confused and frustrated about the entire question than I had been before I began. And the bloody thing reminded me of being married to my husband because our relationship was the living embodiment of a pro and con list; we never could agree on anything and always found ourselves at opposite ends of the spectrum.
And really, all of this is a moot point anyway. If I do ever fall in love again I’ll make my decision about marriage then and there. After all, there will be a lot of factors I can’t even picture now, seeing as how I have no credible offers that require my rumination. So until that time comes, if it ever does, I’ll agree to disagree with myself and let the pros and cons of marriage stay right where they belong-scribbled on a sheet of paper which has been crumpled up and summarily tossed in the recycling bin.