I went back to the ENT on Friday morning because I still didn’t feel great. Well, I have a torn eardrum which explains why I’ve been feeling all dizzy.
I have had kid’s almost nonstop, I’ve been picketing the school board to pressure them to change our unGodly school start times, I’ve been working while sick and dizzy, and in my spare time I’ve been making Nile River costumes and doing school projects. I have glue gun burns.
And did I say yet I was dizzy?
In addition, I’m trying to keep up a long distance relationship and I have the fade in spades. His voice sounds weird to me on the phone. Seriously, I have almost forgotten what he is like. This happens to me so bad. I’m so impaired in this area. He says that he can close his eyes and bring me up. Where as I’m all confused. He doesn’t sound familiar to me at all.
What is my problem that this happens to me after only a month?
I could have never made it as a military wife. Not that I would look at someone else or get into a relationship with someone else, I just feel alone and not part of a partnership at all. Talk about your short term memory deficits. It’s like that movie 20 First Dates or 50 First Dates or whatever. I feel like when we go this long between visits that I have to start all over again. I have to get used to him physically. I totally have to reconnect again.
And who has time for that?
I caught the last 20 minutes of Notting Hill a few minutes ago, because that’s all I had time for. Such a romantic movie, it is the most romantic movie evah. I was thinking to myself, “I want that kind of love and adoration.” Then I remembered that I HAVE that kind of romance in my life, I’ve just forgotten!
Thank God he is coming next weekend. Already I’ve tried to break up a few times and acted really ugly. During these long breaks I feel less and less like I’m in a relationhip even though there are constant texts during the day. I avoid the phone. He gets quiet because I’m hurting his feelings, I remember I’m a big asshole and apologize, rinse and repeat.
He is coming on Friday and staying until Monday. Thank you Jesus. Because if we don’t spend time together then just forget it. It’s too far and expensive for all of this nonsense. If itsn’t real it has to go.
He says he doesn’t know what I am talking about and he is going to romance me silly and that in 15 minutes I’ll be trying to take his clothes off…
Possibly. But I don’t remember.
(He owes me a guest post because he has spent 2 weekends in a row working at his house getting it ready to put on the market. He has had a lot of Ex exposure and always has something to share after that.)
Anyway, I’m going to try to act nicely all week, not push, not try to break up and then Friday will get here and I’ll know it is real again. Hopefully, I will be over this vertigo by then and my ear will be finished with it’s snap- crackle -pop thing that it’s doing.
I just need a little romance.