I’m back in the nest and all good. Just missing.
Missing sucks y’all.
So, I alluded to a hard couple of days with him prior to my trip to visit. We hadn’t seen each other in 3 weeks and it had been a hard 3 weeks for us both: kid stuff (his), Archie stuff (mine), Ex-spouse stuff (his), financial stress (both), illness (mine) busy beyond belief (me), national grief (both). We had some miscommunication on the phone on Sat/Sunday, both stressed, and then I had to pack and get ready for my trip. I thought about not going, he was paralyzed with fear I would back out, it was awful. It was the first time I’ve ever flown to him not completely overjoyed. I worried that was a sign. I landed miraculously in a dense fog in the wee hours. Seriously, we don’t have fog like this in the South. I was sure it was an omen. It was scary foggy, like in English horror films, like The Others.
I was all like, worried and dramatic and tragic.
That fog had me channeling Jane Eyre something fierce.
I was picturing this as I pulled down my bag from the overhead bin.
and we would have some awful words and I would take a walk
around the estate because I would need to think.
Instead I found this.
and there was this.
and lots of sweet words and love.
And that was all like in the first hour.
It was beautiful, and perfect and all is fine. We spent a lot of time talking and trying to problem solve methods of coping with the distance that don’t include miscommunication and pouting. In addition, we hit another milestone, I met his daughter. He has met my kids but his are older and harder to corral and have had more anger about their divorce. This was a big deal, y’all. They had previously made statements that they weren’t interested in meeting any girlfriends. Then out of the blue last week, his daughter, who is 14, emailed me. It was awesome. Then on Monday while I was shopping and he was at work, she called and asked him to pick her up from school. She knew I was there and said it was fine that I came along. It was the perfect way really, because both of us only had about 30 minutes to worry about it. My hair was flat from the fog and I had to pee but other than that it was perfect. She was sweet and giggly and clearly worships her dad. Who wouldn’t? Even his ex is eating out her liver she let him get away. He denies but I study human behavior and I know this.
So, it ended up to be perfect. Now there is just the missing. It shouldn’t be as hard this time. I’m going back on the 26th and will stay for almost a week since Stanley has that week with the kids. Surely I can manage it for a week without getting all tragic again.
One method of coping we are trying is (don’t laugh) he gave me a t-shirt that he had worn all day to smell when I feel like I can’t deal with the distance. OMG. What hilarity. So last night I was in my room and I found the t-shirt. I was smelling it and holding it like a kid with a blankie.
Of course Merlot came in at that very moment and said, “What are you smelling that for?” Me, “To see if it’s dirty?” I quickly drop the evidence and run in to the bathroom. I come back out and she is holding it and smelling it. She said, “It smells clean to me!”
Yes, he wore it all day. He smells that good y’all.
So now I am a whole new level of pathetic.
But that is way better than tragic.
Of course Jane does get the guy in the end.