I’m having one of those mornings
where I want to set my own hair on fire
and put it out with a tackhammer.
I got highly irritated before 8 a.m.
First, Stanley asked me to do last night, which was fine, he had an all -important beer club meeting. But then he mentioned he would come home after so he could do the kids this morning. I meant to text him to clarify if he expected me to leave and ask what time he would be and just generally tell him not to bother but never got around to it. Well, he gets here at about 10 pm. and I am already in my room in bed. I wasn’t leaving at that time. So, I stayed in my room and I hear him downstairs bumbling around. No contact was made, all good. Then this a.m., he gets the kids up and nobody is moving and he is bumbling around. Again, I am in my room and I can hear him. Then JB comes in my room and says she can’t find her clothes. Today is field day and she can wear long shorts and a t-shirt. She’s crying and they need to leave in 5 minutes and instead of looking for them she is just standing around crying.
She has a lack of problem solving skills that she did not get from me.
I knew last night that she needed to put her clothes out for today but again,
I just never got around to actually getting that idea out of my mouth much
like the text I needed to send to Stanley to clarify our situation for the night.
So, I start giving her ideas of what to wear and where these items might be located.
She just stands and cries.
I go in her room and start frantically opening drawers because now they need to leave in 4 minutes and she has not done one thing but stand and cry since she got out of bed. She hasn’t brushed her hair or teeth and still has on her nightgown.
Not those either.
Okay you have 3 minutes!
“PUT ON THOSE SHORTS”
and I lost my shit.
I’m screaming now. Screaming.
and here comes Stanely.
JB, still in cry-mode.
Me, in scream-mode
he turns on his heel and goes back downstairs.
They need to leave in 2 minutes.
I guess JB saw the writing on the wall and started pulling on the shorts.
I helped her brush her hair and tried not to do it like I was mad
so that I didn’t rip every hair out of her head.
I was totally mad at myself that I lost it in front of Stanley. That is more his pattern than mine, I’m usually the reasonable one. This child can make me crazy. I don’t understand how she can completely shut down when she needs to be moving. She is someone that needs to have time built in to her day to have her reaction. In addition, she doesn’t have the verbal skills to tell me what is wrong, leaving me to guess.
I spent my whole marriage guessing.
I didn’t want to guess anymore and so got a divorce.
and here I am, still trying to guess what someone’s problem is.
I don’t understand her anymore than I understand him.
What do you do when the personality traits of your child are the same as the personality traits of your ex-spouse that made you crazy? Go to couples counseling? That already didn’t work one time! I know the answers here of course, I’m just processing.
Because I am verbal and I do that with words.
(sarcasm in case you were confused.)
I have to make sure there is enough time built into her day for her to have reaction time and try to help her move into problem solving mode calmly. Yeah, that’s what I will do next time.
Since I love her madly and can’t divorce her.