Juggling all the uncertainties of being a divorced mom is difficult enough; that’s typically the case for most women, but certainly not all. However, throw on top of that pile the emotional and psychological pressure that accompanies the decision to begin dating again.
It’s the 21st Century, so the most efficient and least intimidating option for most divorced women is the Internet. Find a dating site you like, create a profile and voila, instant dating. But there’s still some uncertainty: Who is this guy, really? Are these sites really safe? Am I really safe doing this?
Here are a few questions and answers to put your mind at ease and ensure a certain degree of confidence as you wade into the dating pool.
1. Why and when do I conduct a dating background check?
As you press “enter” on your PC and post your own profile, the last thing you need to encounter is a fraudulent profile, someone looking to take advantage of you. There are some risks, to be sure, even financial scams or even worse, a physical assault.
Being a divorced mom entails an even higher level of security. You’re not just protecting yourself, but your children, a grandparent who may be helping you care for the kids, a nanny or other loved ones in your household.
That’s why we like to recommend a three-date rule. You probably don’t want to spend the money involved in checking out everyone you meet online. However, the three-date rule entails you corresponding with someone online, by email, instant message, or chatting a number of times by phone. (That’s date #1.) Then you meet in a public place such as a coffee shop. Maybe a second cup of coffee or possibly dinner, always in a well lit, very public restaurant. At this point, perhaps you believe you have met a potential life partner. That’s when you contact us at Dating Backgrounds.
2. How do you positively identify someone?
If you are corresponding with let’s say, Robert Johnson, how can we do a background search without any positive identification or information about his identity? (I would assume that there’s more than one Robert Johnson in your area who’s online.
For this to be accomplished you need at the least an address or a date of birth, which is even better. However, early in a relationship that may not be obtainable. In most cases, a complete address will suffice. We can then match the person’s name with an address and obtain a date of birth and a social security number through consumer reporting agencies. We cannot provide you with either due to privacy laws, but we can use the information to positively ID your date. Once we know who we are looking into, we can delve further.
3. Why should I only trust a professional, licensed private investigator?
Nearly all of the big dating services do nothing to verify the information of someone you may be interested in romantically. In my experience, they don’t even verify that the person behind the profile is from this country.
A licensed professional has access to information that the automated websites do not.
Our license allows us to verify the person behind the profile is from this country and isn’t from a foreign country attempting to run a financial scam, or been convicted for drunk driving, or had a restraining order placed against him. You get the idea.
4. How is the information interpreted?
I like to say this is more about what we don’t find. Most people have a clean background and knowing this can provide you with the peace of mind you need to pursue a dating relationship.
In our research we check not only criminal convictions, and many times arrests, we also check civil filings. In this type of research we many times find a long history of lawsuits, bankruptcies and other financial matters that may make you question the integrity of your potential partner. However, if we find one lawsuit that’s dragged on in the courts, there may very well be a second party that is causing most of the problems. So looking at all the information we find subjectively can make the difference between moving forward and stepping away.
What’s most important is that you understand that YOU have the power to date safely and protect yourself and your loved ones by conducting a Dating Background Check. The real question is who do you trust to help you learn important details about someone before that third date? We’d like to think that our professionals at Dating Backgrounds have the experience and knowledge to help you sleep better at night – alone, or perhaps with someone you care about by your side!