It is a question women have been asking since their vocal chords could form words. Does he love me? Does he love me not?
As women, we tend to over-analyze and critique our relationships like the ancient philosophers. As a matter of a fact, I bet even Plato and Aristotle would have thrown up their hands if they were involved in a conversation with a group of females discussing, “Does he love me?”
However, even though most women spend hours wondering about their man’s intentions, the truth is that it is pretty easy to tell if a man loves you, or thinks of you as having long term or marrying potential.
Yes. Let me repeat that. You ARE able to determine how a man feels about you by asking yourself if you see these six very simple behaviors from him. It is just that easy. The actions are simple to identify, but very often, women tend to excuse or explain why they don’t see these behaviors in their partners because they don’t want to admit he isn’t showing signs of love toward her.
If you have been ruminating and wondering if he loves you, read the list, and HONESTLY determine if you see these behaviors in your man.
1. Does what he says he will do.
He will call when he says he is going to call. If he says he will show up at your mother’s house for brunch, he will be there. This is not a guarantee that you won’t worry about how he feels or where the relationship is going. As women, we tend to do this, even when it isn’t necessary. But if a man keeps his word, it means your opinion of him is something he values.
2. Respects (and holds dear) the people you love.
People you care about will be important to him. He will want them to like him, and give you the thumbs up to dating him. He won’t try to keep you from them or monopolize your time. He won’t mind spending time with you when they are around. Eventually, as you grow closer in the relationship (best case scenario), those people become special to him too. This is a no brainer. Your family and friends know and love you. If they don’t like him, there is a reason even if you are too blind from infatuation to notice in the beginning of a relationship.
3. ALWAYS acts like you are the most beautiful woman in the room no matter where you go, or who you are with.
He never makes you feel insecure about how he feels about you, or how you look. Even when it’s that special time of the month and you have your fat sweat pants on while crying over the commercial on tv, he tells you he thinks you are beautiful! Or at the very least, he pats your head and asks if you would like an ice cream sandwich.
A man who pays more attention to other women, or makes you feel insecure about your looks is NOT in love with you. Period.
4. Refers to going somewhere or doing something in the future, he uses the pronoun “we” not “I.”
This is a very subtle way to tell where his head is at in terms of your relationship. It is NOT a sure fire indicator of marriage, but it does speak volumes that he is including you in his future, and wants you around! He will also consult with you about your plans, and take your feelings about his plans into consideration.
5. Has introduced you to all the important people in his life, and he includes you when he spends time with his family and friends.
He is proud of you and likes having you around other people he values. Of course, if it is only your second date, and his family reunion is next week, don’t prepare your famous potato salad because you are convinced he will ask you to accompany him to Aunt Thelma’s house! But, if you have been dating for two years, and haven’t met his best friend or his parents, forget him. He is not worth it.
6. Is willing to go out of his way for you.
He offers to do things for you that he wouldn’t be doing otherwise. He puts your needs/wants above his comfort. It doesn’t bother him to go outside on snowy mornings to scrape ice off your windshield and start your car even though he is off work that day, and could have slept in.
He will go to the grocery for tampons. Now, he may be apprehensive about what kind, and where to find them, but he would never think of not going because it embarrasses him. This is where the little things come into play, and if you pay attention, they will speak volumes about his level of commitment.
If you have been dating for nine months to a year, and you do not see any of these behaviors, you may want to re-evaluate your relationship. However, if your relationship is relatively new it may be too early to expect these types of actions from a partner yet. Also, maybe you see one or two but you are still missing the others. That is okay. Don’t fret or worry. You should continue to date him, enjoy yourself, but pay attention to see if the other behaviors show up eventually.
Please remember, dating and getting to know someone should be exciting and fun. You shouldn’t be questioning his motives so often that you are no longer enjoying the process. Be true to yourself, keep the dating/relationship boundaries you believe in, and do not settle for less that you deserve!