Filing for divorce should be a well thought out plan of action that serves as a last resort. It should be the final alternative after trying everything else. “Everything else” includes talking to your spouse about the marital problems and seeking coaching, or counseling. When you decide to go through coaching and/or counseling, it is important to make a sincere effort to find ways to reconcile differences and restore the love you once felt for your spouse. Relationship coaching or counseling only works if sessions are attended with the right attitude.
In the end, there are millions of divorce petitions filed in court every day. Many people wish to stop the divorce petition after filing because the husband or wife decides they really should try again to keep their marriage intact.
So before actually going through filing for divorce, it is advisable to give the decision intense consideration and look at the pros and cons from all sides. If you change your mind after you file, you can stop the proceedings if you have a change of heart. Stopping the proceedings in most states is simply a matter of withdrawing your petition or asking the court to dismiss the petition. When you have a divorce petition dismissed, it means it is gone forever. If you decide later that you want to go through with divorce, then the process must be started again. Alternatively, you can ask the court to place your petition on hold for a period of time.
Reconsidering the Divorce
Deciding to file for divorce can be heartbreaking. After all, you are talking about permanently ending a relationship you began while believing it was a lifelong decision. But life can get in the way so to speak. People fall in and out of love, go through personal crisis, or get weary of the marital problems. Sometimes they just get fed up and decide to take rash action. Instead of working with their spouse to solve the problems in the marriage, they decide to take action on their own. You don’t have to have your spouse’s agreement to file for divorce. Sadly, too many people decide to divorce without really thinking about the long range consequences.
Here are some common reasons people reconsider their filing for divorce:
- Children are involved and divorce will split up family
- Have not sought marriage coaching and/or counseling
- Have not tried to make personal changes in order to improve marriage
- You still feel some love or affection for your spouse
There is no reason to let a divorce continue out of embarrassment or fear of what the court will think. It is more important to try to restore your marriage if there is any hope at all it is salvageable or you decide you have not tried everything possible. All too often spouses start thinking in dangerous terms. For example, they tell themselves that single life will be just like it was when they were 20 years old. But most marriages have children involved and being a single parent is not easy.
Seeking a Second Chance
When you are interested in stopping a divorce filing, you have to let the court know. If your spouse has filed and you would like him or her to stop the process, then you should start by asking if your spouse would consider putting the petition on hold. But you should also approach your spouse with a definitive plan in mind. Your spouse will be much more likely to reconsider the divorce if they understand that there are still possible solutions to the problems in the marriage. It is when a spouse comes to believe the situation is hopeless that divorce looks like the best alternative.
A divorce petition is not engraved in stone as long as it has not been acted on.