Going through a divorce can require a variety of adjustments and the thought of starting over can seem very overwhelming especially during the new year. Change is scary, but if you look at it in the right light, it can also be gratifying. And, you can jumpstart your new year after divorce.
Without change, we would go through life doing the same thing every day and never experience the serendipity of finding true happiness. If you’re currently navigating a divorce or have been divorced for quite some time and are wondering what’s next, then continue reading to help prepare yourself for your new journey.
Start by reminding yourself that there is a happiness that you have yet to experience that awaits you. Thinking positive is a powerful way to guide yourself through uncertainties caused by the bumps in the road.
Here are some tips to help you thrive and jumpstart your new year and look forward to all the good ahead.
Take your time; it’s not a race.
A divorce could feel like a significant loss. It’s important to mourn the loss of your marriage and your past expectations about your future in order to move on completely. Depending on your situation, the grieving process may take longer than most. A divorce is just like grieving a death, which means you will likely go through the five stages of loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
To reach acceptance, you must start with self-healing. After a divorce, it’s important to assess what is helping or disrupting your recovery. For instance, social media might be an aspect of your life worth examining. Do you feel the urge to see what your ex is doing? Have they moved on? Are they happy? Don’t let those questions force you to put yourself out there when you aren’t ready. It’s not a race to see who can move on faster. Take your time and love yourself before you look for love again.
Fall in love with yourself all over again.
Going on this journey can put a toll on you emotionally and mentally. The healing process will only begin when you take a step back and determine what is going to make you happy. Before you can love someone else, you need to love yourself, and that means getting to know yourself again. Your journey of healing also becomes a journey of self-exploration to rediscover your true identity. Reflect on what you can take away from this experience and then apply those thoughts to determine your values that you’d like to abide by in your next relationship.
Some questions you might want to ask yourself: What do I love about myself? Do I truly know my worth? What am I holding onto and can’t let go of? Make it a point in the new year to ask yourself these questions every day to validate your true self and strengthen your self-love. If you’re constantly surrounded by anxious thoughts, propel yourself forward by shifting your mindset to something more positive.
Do something for yourself.
After a divorce is a time to do something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance. Maybe you and your spouse were in disagreement or timing was never on your side. Whichever the case may be, now is your time to do something that will make you genuinely happy and satisfied, alleviating some of the emptiness you may be feeling. Especially with the new year approaching, booking a relaxing vacation or going on a spontaneous weekend getaway can help you appreciate new possibilities.
The emotional and mental effects of a divorce can also lead to physical strains on your body. Have you been felt so stressed that you forget to take care of yourself? Stress can cause some people not to eat, while others find comfort in bingeing unhealthy foods. Remember that it’s just as important to nourish your body as well as your mind because when you neglect your physical health, you are also depreciating your self-worth.
For those who are ready to enter the dating world again, or merely need a self-esteem boost, it’s important to recognize that signs of stress can also be visible through your hair, skin, and nails. Thus, keeping your body in check can also help to boost your self-confidence. Skin issues can flare up when under significant physiological stress, meaning your diet really does affect your complexion.
Eating more nutrient-rich foods will improve both your skin and your energy. If you’re noticing your hair becoming thinner and falling out more than usual, this is another sign that you need to give yourself a break and reevaluate your diet. You can incorporate daily vitamins and hair loss supplements containing biotin into your self-care regimen to keep you feeling and looking your best. When you’re stressed, it can be tough to take the time to treat yourself, but some quality TLC will do wonders for you.
Be open and be true to yourself.
After you’ve gained your self-confidence back, exploring the dating world again can actually be an exciting aspect of your new chapter in life. Whether you set up an online dating profile or meet someone the old fashioned way, make sure that you are ready to date again. It’s okay to be unsure of what you want (i.e., casual dates or long-term commitment) but make sure you’re only occupying your time with others who genuinely pique your interest and whose values align with yours.
Trust that you will find happiness again and it will all fall into place. While finding yourself after a divorce may be a challenge, you’ll come to a new normal that works for you in time. Comment below with your tips on jump-starting a new life!