It’s a sobering fact that many marriages end in divorce. What is even worse is some of those marriages include severely traumatic situations, such as domestic violence and substance abuse. When you have gone through the betrayal of adultery, or the pain of domestic abuse, it may be difficult to imagine ever being able to start over. You may imagine that you’ll never be able to have a normal life after divorce and there are so many volatile emotions during this time, it can be difficult to see beyond them. Hopefully, if you just have a bit of courage and time, you’ll be able to move forward and see beyond the pain.
Give It Time
Healing takes time, particularly when the wounds are emotional. There is no fast fix for snapping back after a marriage ends. You are not abnormal if you experience some depression, worries about the future, and a sense of loss. In fact, depending on how quickly your marriage ended, you may be in a state of shock. Give yourself plenty of time to heal before embarking on a new relationship to avoid making the same mistakes again. For some, it might take a few months and others years. There’s no definite timeline for you to follow, you just have to gauge your own feelings and remember it’s okay to go at your own pace to work it out.
Talk It Out
Talking out your feelings to a friend or family member can help immensely. Friends are greatly needed when a marriage ends because loneliness can set in if you’ve never been on your own before. You may be a private person, but you should try to reach out to others during this time. There are many helpful community and church groups you can join to develop friendships with others. Find one where you feel comfortable and join it. Social media is probably not the best place to go when a relationship is over since people tend to say things they regret later when they are emotionally wounded. Find a safe space where you can vent and talk about your feelings without having it come back to bite you later. This could be a trusted friend’s house or support group.
Develop New Goals
Going forward in life involves making course adjustments when something happens that you didn’t expect. You may be young or old, but the fact is life still holds many possibilities for you. It’s just a matter of finding them. Think about developing some new skills, sharing your talents in new ways, or following some new directions in your life. Try some things you may never have tried before. Establishing new goals will give you a more positive outlook for the future.
Don’t Look Back
Avoid negative emotions as much as possible that can hang on after a breakup, such as bitterness. Bitterness can hold you back emotionally and prevent growth. Same goes for anger and hurt. Endeavor to learn as much as you can from the experience you had, and try to forgive.
Seek Professional Help If Needed
There are some difficult situations in life that require the help of professionals. Assault and battery in a broken marriage is one of them. You should never try to tackle physical violence yourself. Allow experts to help you with the aftermath of your marriage when they are needed. There are many different organizations out there willing and able to help you in ways you can’t yourself.
Life can begin again after a messy marriage. How you deal with the explosion of unexpected events in your life can determine how well you can move forward.