Before my divorce, I was not a very open person. In other words, I had very little interest in new experiences and I rarely thought “outside the box” that was my world. I liked tradition and predictability and didn’t like anyone messing with the life I had built for myself and my family.
Needless to say, I had a hard time accepting and healing from my divorce. The less open a person is to change and thinking “outside the box”, the more difficult they will find it to adjust when someone screws with the life they have designed for themselves. In this article, I want to share with you things I’ve learned over the years that will help you become more open and accepting of change, whether that change is of your choosing or not.
Qualities That Accelerate Healing After Divorce
Try Something New:
You may feel as if something new has been forced upon you and the last thing you need is “something new.” You are wrong, though. Now is the time to become an explorer. Your life is in transition, like it or not, so you may as well take control of where you will end up by being open to all possibilities. Do something you’ve always wanted to do but never thought yourself capable. You are both capable of doing it and enjoying it.
I have a friend who went to Spain for a month after her divorce…ALONE. I started my own business after 14-years of being a stay-at-home Mom and had to make “cold calls.” That was so out of my comfort zone! But, you know what, it set me on the path to becoming who I am today, a woman who is secure in her ability to do whatever I choose to do.
Learn To Give And Take:
Let go of your inflexibility. People who are not open to change are generally inflexible toward others and their differences. If your ex has turned into someone you no longer know, instead of doing battle with him on every issue, become more flexible…willing to give and take. Be open to suggestions, willing to consider and deal with something that would usually cause you discomfort. Being flexible will make others more likely to give in when an issue is really important to you.
I used to stand, staunchly on my principles and beliefs, regardless of how skewed they were. It’s probably one thing that played a role in my divorce. I learned just because I believed something, didn’t make it true. I learned that by being open to new ideas, examining my deeply held beliefs and being willing to give and take even if I thought the choice may be wrong. The cool thing, most of the choices I questioned turned out to be the right choice!
Take Stock Of What You Are Missing:
If you refuse to try new things or fight accepting change as it comes, you are limiting the experiences you can have in life. Divorce is an opportunity that can open one’s mind. It may be an opportunity that comes with emotional pain but it is an opportunity nonetheless. Be open to the chances for change and learning that come along with this opportunity. If you permit, you can become receptive to change and more understanding of who you are and what you want.