There is no question that undergoing the divorce process and then working to reclaim your life afterwards poses great challenges. As you make the transition and work to settle into your new ‘solo’ or single life, it can be helpful to try a ‘solo’ or single vacation, too.
If you have never traveled alone, now would be a great time to give it a try and learn about the pleasures and challenges of traveling solo. What might be good about traveling by yourself after your divorce? Many things, including:
- You can talk to and meet new people if you want to or you can keep to yourself—it’s entirely up to you.
- You can see how it feels to stop all of the wheels of your busy, busy life from turning for just a day or two (or a week or longer, if you can) and enjoy the quiet and stillness.
- You can use a solo trip as an opportunity to ‘come to’ — to catch your breath and spend some time ‘tuning in’ to what it is you want and need going forward.
- You can enjoy a new adventure, expedition, or journey and do everything YOUR way!! No compromising, no give-and-take if you are on your own, right? 5). No one out there will know anything about your divorce or your marriage, or anything else about you unless you choose to tell them!!
Keep in mind that you really don’t have to go far to strike out on your solo journey—-even a single night at a hotel, inn, campground, or B&B nearby could do the trick. Consider trying a yoga retreat center, a windjammer cruise, or a bicycling adventure. Or if you can swing it, head to the spa for a night and enjoy a day of pampering and replenishment!
Interestingly, some of my clients have met the solo adventure idea with great resistance. “I don’t want to go anywhere alone” is a common refrain. It seems that while traveling solo may not be a preference for many, it is nonetheless an effective way for the recently divorced to re-establish themselves as individuals. It sends an important message to your psyche (and perhaps out into the universe) that being solo will not limit you and that you are free to have adventures and experiences, make new choices, and find pleasure in being on your own.
Another common response on the possibility of solo travels is that it may be unsafe or unwise to strike out on your own. Certainly, there are areas in the world (maybe even in your town) that would not make sense for a single person (particularly a single woman) to travel to, but, there is no reason why a solo traveler can not enjoy time traveling alone and stay safe, too. All it takes is the right amount of research, planning, and practical wisdom.
For instance, you can research in advance which areas/parts of a town or city that you are interested in visiting are well lit, well populated, and enjoy a low crime rate. You can also think through what you might do if the ‘what ifs’ that might be worrying you were to actually happen (ie-what if I lose my wallet or ID?
What if I get sick while I am away- are there medical facilities nearby?, etc.). Generally, the more thinking, planning, and research you do ahead of time, the smoother your trip may go. One client recently talked about going to a local book store, filling her arms with books about the places she was interested in visiting and reading them all to determine what the best itinerary would be for her to travel alone to. It worked—she chose to tour a new city for 4 days and had a positively wonderful time.
There are lots and lots of opportunities out there—you only need to: find and identify the journey that appeals to you, research the practical aspects, pack your bags, and get going! Consider bringing a good book with you, too, so you’ll have something to focus on over dinner out, if you choose, and: Bon Voyage!!! Happy solo travels to you!
And once you get your feet wet you can branch out to far away places like the ones below.
- Paris, France
- Rome, Italy
- New York, New York
- London, England
- Cancun, Mexico or,
- Take a single’s cruise!