Forget A New Relationship! 10 Ways To Fall In Love With Yourself

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By Karen Becker, Guest Author - February 28, 2015

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So you're divorced. You were in a committed relationship that ended and you're… single. Just hearing the word "single" makes a lot of women cringe, doesn't it? What if being single doesn't have to be so bad, though? It's all about finding love, isn't it? Let's start with loving ourselves!

1. Smile at yourself everyday! When you're in a relationship, there's something about your partner smiling at you that makes you feel warm inside, isn't there? Start by smiling at yourself! We look in the mirror many times in a day, start by smiling at yourself every time you do. 

2. Date yourself.  Don't wait for a man to take you to that new restaurant in town. Order your food for take-out, grab a movie and head home. Put on your yoga pants, pour a glass of wine and enjoy as much of that dinner as you can without worrying if anyone thinks you're eating too much. Watch the movie you choose and cry and laugh all you want! Then, if you're up for it, draw yourself a bath, take the glass of wine with you and put on music in the background. Isn't that the perfect date night?

3. Write down all of the ways you're a good friend, a good girlfriend when in a relationship and a good person. What do others love about you? What do you love about yourself? What do you wish your ex noticed about you that he didn't? You don't have to wait for someone to tell you these things. You know them already!

4. Accept your flaws.  Even in relationships, your partner has their flaws, don't they? You accept them because you love them and because their positives far outweigh the negatives.  Do the same for yourself! What are your quirks? What are your flaws? Own them and love yourself, not in spite of them, but because they are part of what makes you, YOU!

5. Don't compare yourself to others. When you're in a relationship and you and your partner walk past another woman, what happens? A lot of men look, don't they? In your mind, they're comparing you to that other woman. You hate when that happens, don't you? So why do it to yourself?  Stop comparing and love you as you are!

6. Find a hobby you love. Remember when you were younger and you drew the picture of your family and took it home? Your parents put that up on the refrigerator for everyone to see! You were so proud of yourself. Get that feeling back. Find something you love to do and work at it whenever you can.  If you love to read, find a great book and curl up with it. If you're creative, use that to build something wonderful!  Bonus points for sharing what it is you're doing on social media. There's nothing wrong with a little bragging. 

7. Exercise. Get out there and get moving. Not only does it ensure you're looking your best, it makes you feel good. You've heard it so many times. Exercise releases endorphins, the feel good chemicals in the brain. Go for a walk around the block, take the stairs instead of the elevator, park farther away at the store. In doing that, you just made yourself feel good rather than waiting for someone else to. It's empowering, isn't it?

8. Do something for another person. Pay for the person behind you in the Starbucks line, open the door for a stranger on your way into the store, wrap an old scarf around a tree for the homeless; whatever you decide, do it out of love for others and watch how good you feel afterwards. 

9. Accept compliments from others.  As women, this is the hardest thing to do, isn't it? You walk into work with a new skirt on and you hear, "Wow, new skirt?  That looks great on you!"  Rather than saying, "These shoes look horrible with it, don't they?" Smile, and reply, "Thank you!"  If someone compliments you, it's because they know you deserve it.  Accept it and let it sink in!

10. Know that before you anyone else will love you unconditionally, you have to love yourself unconditionally. Everyone has flaws, so if there's something that you absolutely hate about yourself, work to change it. Everyone also has positive points, too, know yours and love yourself for them. No one is perfect, but everyone is wonderful!

In taking these steps, you'll not only begin to really enjoy your own company, you'll find that the relationships you get into after loving yourself are much more meaningful. 

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photo credit: via photopin (license)

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