Going through a divorce, getting back on your feet, finding hope again, and getting yourself out there isn’t easy. But it is what makes you a stronger individual and a better mother.
At some point you get back to the person you used to be -- with your aspirations and dreams, hobbies, spending time with friends, taking care of your well-being, and improving yourself -- which also means being in public more, communicating with people, and meeting new people.
With a social life, however, comes the possibility of rejection. And even when we think we’re stronger than ever, and more independent than before, being rejected might evoke painful memories from the past or cost us our newly gained self-esteem.
Dealing with rejection after divorce is something you should prepare for mentally. Things don’t always go according to the plan, and life surprises us more often than we’d like.
In this case, the goal is to learn to accept rejection and feel better after it.
4 Ways to Deal with Rejection Post-Divorce
1. Don't take it too personally.
I used to take things way too personally back in the day. Every form of rejection -- even as little as hearing "no" to an offer I make, or not being greeted by someone I’ve met before -- would make me feel bad about myself. Each such situation from daily life made me lower my confidence. I was overthinking it, trying to guess why this person didn’t like me.
Until it struck me: It had little to do with me, really.
We have the tendency to play scenarios in our heads that have nothing to do with reality. When it comes to analyzing other people’s behavior and thoughts, we can never get it right. That realization made me a bit more courageous and I even asked a few of the people who rejected me in some way about it. They said they never even realized it was a form of rejection, nor were they disliking me.
Life became much easier once I stopped taking things personally. Now I know that everyone has a lot going on in their lives, and that they might just be having a bad day if they don’t pay any attention to me or reject an offer I make.
You should do the same.
2. Take the lesson.
Every single thing in life can become a valuable lesson if we are open to new knowledge and experience. Let’s take this approach to rejection too and feel better after it by learning something and performing better next time.
If your feelings for someone you like were hurt, try to understand why. There must be something you didn’t do right, or maybe you expected too much from this person. By reflecting on this, you might realize that you often fall for the wrong people, and should do something about it. If you do that every time you get rejected, you’ll improve in every area in life. Your communication skills will be optimized, and you’ll know how to react to different people.
That will help you develop the mindset of a lifelong learner. As a result, you’ll never consider anything a failure, but an opportunity to grow and be better prepared next time. People will begin noticing that nothing brings you down anymore, and you’re excited to try new things and learn from each. That deserves respect.
3. Practice acceptance.
One of the most powerful things to learn how to do in life is accepting. Sometimes there just isn’t anything we can do simply because outer factors caused the outcome. We can’t really keep blaming others for rejecting us, or ourselves for not being convincing enough.
It is what it is, but it’s also what’s right. Have faith in the natural flow of events. Be in peace with reality. Don’t try to change things, don’t expect too much from others or yourself, don’t try to predict the future.
Be mindful. You’ll appreciate and enjoy life more.
Acceptance helps you to let go of the negative emotions that follow rejection, and you free your mind and heart and make room for something better.
4. Do something else.
Take your mind off this. A good way is to just forget about it by meeting new people, spending time with friends, or spoiling yourself. Why not set a new goal and work on it until you see results? Action breeds more action, and soon you’ll have forgotten about how you felt and will be focused on how confident you’re becoming.
Overthinking rejection, when there’s nothing you can do about it, is a harmful behavior. It makes you feel even worse, and you’re literally reliving the situation. Don’t let that happen. Your mind is a sanctuary, so you should only let peaceful and positive thoughts in it.
Over to you now.
After all that you’ve been through in life, and successfully recovering from the difficulties, you can’t let rejection be a barrier to living better.
What can you do the next time you get rejected in order to feel better?