I read an article today about how Rob Ford said his two month stint in rehab was successful, he went on to say how his past behavior left him “ashamed, embarrassed and humiliated.”
As I read the short article, my ex kept coming to mind. Funny how Rob Ford reminds me of many people including my ex.
Sad how my stomach turned at the words Rob Ford chose, at the seeming lack of genuine understanding how much damage he has done to his city, to his constituents, to the very people who trusted him enough to give him the authority.
My ex is ashamed, embarrassed and humiliated by our divorce but not by the choices he made that led up to our divorce. If you listen to his side of things he still protests he is 100 percent innocent, he did absolutely nothing wrong. It is all my fault that a) he believes he is no longer qualified to be a deacon in his church, b) my fault our marriage failed because I said til death do us part and he hadn't killed me yet c) these are a direct result of my sin (divorcing him) - it doesn't matter that in fact, he divorced me.
Rob Ford seems to miss the damage he caused with his repeated choice to engage in public drunkeness and illegal drug activities. He seems to have forgotten that he set a horrible example for all the children in his city. He seems to have forgotten what choices he made that led up to the loss of his authority.
Sadly, like Rob, Ford my ex is extremely concerned about the image he portrays to those around him and how he is ready to set a great example and lead them (or their children, he is deeply involved in BoyScouts of America).
Seems to me both my ex and Rob Ford would fair better if they were actually ashamed and embarrassed and humiliated by the choices they made that directly impacted their current situations in life. Perhaps they should worry a little more about earning the trust of people around them instead of trying to jump right back into the role of leadership.
Whether you are a parent, a scoutmaster, a mayor or teacher trust is something that is earned. You cannot be an effective leader without trust. So perhaps doing drugs, engaging in public drunkenness, openly having affairs with married women, lying to those who placed you in a position of authority isn’t the best way to earn trust. Perhaps you should humble yourselves and quietly apologize, recognize and admit that you have no right to ever expect to lead anyone again and then quietly, humbly go about earning their trust by the example you set every day.
I don’t throw terms around because I am not qualified to diagnose anyone, however Narcissist, Bipolar, and Sociopath come to mind when I think of Rob Ford.
So much damage has been done by the choices he made, an entire city humiliated and ashamed. He made his constituents the brunt of jokes worldwide. How dare he look forward to leading them for many years to come?
My ex has literally destroyed lives and a home. I spent several years having difficulty rectifying the image he shows the world with the man he is in private. Even when he is unable to maintain the façade, when he screams at me and our children in front of his people I am amazed how quickly he recoups and blames me for his behavior. Rob Ford needs to own up to his choices and the damage he has done.
Whether you desire to lead constituents or your children, actions speak so much louder than words. Would you trust Tom Ford with your money, your children, your welfare?
"Your actions are speaking so loud I can’t hear you..."