Have you ever heard someone make a statement and thought to yourself “what just happened? Did they really say that?” Well, get ready to hear some truly astounding, eye-roll-worthy zingers if you’re going through a divorce! It must be the raw emotion that brings out the petty, if not too intelligent or logical side of many exes at this trying time.
Some of the following “greatest hits of divorce WTH???” are brought to you courtesy of my own divorce, while others were shared with me by friends and associates. I hope you will be sure to share your #1 favorite rude comments, insults, illogical statements, and others that made you stop and shake your head!
1. “Counseling is a waste of time and money.” To each their own opinion; but, in this case, an 8-year-old boy was struggling with his parent’s divorce and his mom decided to get him in counseling to help him out. Dad, who was at that time going to school to become a counselor, attended two sessions, then told mom he didn’t think they should go anymore because “counseling is a waste of time and money!” I sure hope he puts that quote on his business cards when he becomes a counselor!
2. “I don’t like the scent of your laundry soap, so you need to switch brands.” Six years since this couple divorced, and out of the blue the ex-wife decided to make a point of criticizing her ex-husband’s laundry. He believes she was having a bad day and just wanted to pick a fight; but, imagine the audacity to think that you ever have the right to tell someone else how to conduct business in their own home, especially years after a break-up! No one else has complained even though she claims it has been bothering her for years (and, apparently only her, because he asked around); so, you can probably guess what he did with her request!
3. “It’s immoral to date again until the judge’s gavel hits the bench to finalize the divorce…” says the man who had multiple girlfriends sleep over with his children present before the divorce was finalized. I guess he thought this was a situation where what’s good for the gander is only good for the gander!
4. “I’m concerned about all the unhealthy food you feed the children.” In this case, the parent being accused of crimes against nutrition faithfully prepared home-cooked meals for every dinner, including a side of vegetables or a salad, and was very thoughtful in making healthy food choices. So, when the children returned home, this parent chef nonchalantly asked the kids what they usually eat at their other parent’s home and learned that they typically eat canned ravioli, frozen Salisbury steak dinners, packaged cupcakes every evening, and at least three kinds of junk cereal for breakfasts. Sounds a little like a pot calling the kettle black!
5. “Your mom cheated on me with her friend Tim.” Yes, mom was good friends with Tim (just never in that way); but, did you also mention to the kids how you and Tim had sex? Can you say “hypocrite?”
6. “You never played basketball with me.” One wife was delivered the bombshell that her husband wanted to end their marriage along with the explanation that she never played hoops with him during their marriage…not that he ever asked her to, owned a basketball, or showed an interest in doing so!
7. “Your dad is an angry, violent person” according to the woman who has multiple police reports and children’s services investigations against her for pushing kids through glass doors, kicking them down stairs, throwing dishes at their heads, slapping and kicking them, and even putting them in MMA-style holds. Interesting, because dad has never had such a report made against him either during the marriage or since!
8. “You never communicate anything to me about the kids.” This parent insisted that their ex make copies of every paper sent home with the kids from school and send them by certified mail. The other parent complied so far as making sure that every letter or form was photographed and both e-mailed and texted to the other parent (they just thought certified mail was a little over the top). But, guess who failed to share any information (for over a month) about track sign-ups and an orchestra concert? Apparently one of these parents thinks parenting is a one-way street!
9. “I just want to live a completely different life. I think I will probably live all by myself in a trailer.” Well, he uttered these words to his wife one week, as he asked her for a divorce; but, was then spotted holding hands and kissing a leggy blonde the next week. I guess just thinking about living in complete solitude for a whole week drove him into the arms of another!
10. “If you would just lose 20 pounds, that would save our marriage.” Never mind the fat-shaming ex’s questionable all night parties with “friends,” vacations without their spouse, or pesky habit of spending all of the family’s bill money on shopping sprees.
What do all of these rude, bizarre, or sometimes laughable comments have in common? The person who spoke them is:
Out of touch with reality.
Possibly living in the past, or at least not over it.
Unable to see their own mistakes.
Rude. Let’s just say it, they’re rude!
One wonderful thing about the rudeness or insanity of exes is that it gives us pause and reason to say “thank you for reminding me why I divorced (or am divorcing) you!”
What else can be said? Do you really want anyone in your life who thinks this way or does these things? You may still have to interact with them as a co-parent (I’m sorry.); but, at least you can get down on your knees and give thanks that you no longer have to live with them.
When I confronted my now ex while he was with his girlfriend instead of the business trip he supposed to on, I told him the business hotel he said he was at never heard of him. He said he was staying in a secret room.
Dottie, I’m so sorry this happened to you! Exes really think we’re stupid, don’t they! I couldn’t help but imagine Dr. Evil from Austin Powers saying “secret room”! Thanks for the laugh!