No one gets married thinking that divorce is just around the corner. Whatever the reasons for a divorce, it always takes a huge toll emotionally and financially.
Here are 10 lessons most women learn during divorce as shared by ladies who’ve gone through it and by divorce professionals.
Recovery Takes Time
Depending on the reason for your divorce, the finality may either make you feel like it’s Christmas morning or the absolute end of the world. One thing to consider though is the feeling of vulnerability you’ll have until you’ve fully recovered. It is perfectly okay to seek help and it is perfectly okay to feel down, even if you’re the one who initiated the process, to begin with.
Manage Your Future Living Expenses Right NOW
Getting divorced can make you emotional and cause you to make poor decisions that you’ll regret later. Remember that time will take care of sore feelings but your financial decisions will affect you longer. Know how much money you need so you can make necessary adjustments and plans.
Be Ready for Unexpected Costs
It would be best to ask or request some funds before your first alimony check arrives. If you don’t need alimony, that’s also fine but know that there are probably some matters that were usually shouldered by your ex which you’ll have to pay for now.
You’ll Get Nothing from Trying to Hurt Your Ex
Remember that every action now has a consequence in the future. Sure, you can get your ex fired by ratting him out to his boss, but that will also mean he won’t have the same financial capabilities and will affect whatever support he can provide to you and your children. Saying hurtful things online can backfire when your kids are old enough to read what you shared about their father.
Choose Your Experts Wisely
Lawyers specializing in family law are your best bet to get the fairest settlement possible. You may also want to look into hiring a financial planner if you have a lot of combined assets with your husband.
Divorce Doesn’t Define You
Just because you’re divorced does not mean that you’re a failure or that you’re not desirable. Stigmas do persist to these days but keep in mind that a divorce just means that the relationship did not work out or love has simply died.
Kids Will ALWAYS Be Affected by a Divorce
Yes, even when they act like nothing happened. Numerous research studies show that kids often feel responsible when their parents go through a divorce. They may not say it, but there will be tell-tale behavioral signs that you can watch out for.
The Holidays Will Be a Hard Time for You
Feelings of loneliness are felt more during the holidays, and this doesn’t exempt those who are divorced. It would be best to plan a vacation or be with loved ones instead of being alone around the holidays.
Joint Accounts Need Your Attention Too
Don’t go into court without being fully informed about your joint accounts. You have to know online passwords, account pins, email verification, any investments, and who is handling your account(s) if using a professional. This will save you from both future headache and heartache once the divorce is in process.
Divorce Can Be Empowering
Divorce shouldn’t be viewed as the end of a book, but rather the beginning of a whole new chapter. There are a lot of opportunities for new beginnings after divorce. Wherever life may lead you, just know that you will always have a choice.
With everything said, there is no doubt that going through a divorce can be a scary time for anyone. Though it’s true that uncertainties are everywhere, the answers and help that you seek might be just a phone call away.