Dating rules and expectations have changed since being single again after a decade or two. What worked in the distant past does not seem to be working now. It can be daunting stepping back into the dating scene after a long hiatus. Questions pop up – Who pays? When do I initiate dates? How do I meet men again? Who are you going to call – the dating coach!
1. It is nearly impossible to do an unbiased self-assessment. A dating coach is able to give you honest feedback regarding your strengths and weaknesses. She enlightens you to which areas need an overhaul – attitude, confidence or unrealistic expectation of nabbing a billionaire. She helps you to get a realistic picture of yourself.
2. A dating coach can help boost one’s self-esteem which took a battering in a toxic marriage. If one feels she is unworthy of a great guy – she may be dating men who put her down. A dating coach reaffirms a person’s self-worth and to raise the bar on the qualities of dating partners.
3. A dating coach can gently suggest some outward improvements to give a better first impression. Different research studies indicate that folks make decisions about new people between 1/10 of a second to 30 seconds, with the average being seven seconds. The coach may refer a client to a department store stylist for a few wardrobe upgrades. Or getting rid of grey hair for a more youthful appearance. I still see women in their 50’s-60’s wearing bright blue eye shadow which was popular decades ago. A makeover can be just the ticket for updating one’s looks when starting to date once more.
4. A dating coach can look at one’s interactions to determine a few things. Are you tongue tied? Do you chatter non-stop out of nervousness? Are you a good listener? How to encourage the other party to talk about themselves and not answer by yes or no?
5. Knowing how to navigate different dating sites is a job for a dating coach. She guides people in making a profile, selecting a self-photo and the other intricacies of online dating. She can assist in making the initial contact and in answering any responses from potential dates until one feels more at ease. She is a good resource for deciphering men’s profiles and any other concerns that crop up with internet dating.
6. Giving pointers where to find suitable guys is another task for the dating coach. She may suggest joining groups or volunteering to find a life partner. A dating coach gives advice when in a tricky dating situation, such as how to let a co-worker know that you are interested in going out with him.
7. A dating coach will analyze your behavior to determine what may be a turn-off to guys. Maybe someone laughs like a hyena or spits when she talks. Something may be blocking communication or scaring guys away. One co-worker told us personal things about her body functions, and this is a no-no on the dating circuit. She may advise keeping a little bit of mystery and clarify when it is okay and when it is not – to share deep, personal secrets.
8. One may be choosing the same type of guy over and over again. The dating coach brings this to her client’s awareness so they can break this pattern which may not be healthy. A person who is an enabler may be picking guys with an impairment problem or some other toxic behavior. One woman told me that she seems to be drawn to sociopaths, because those are who she dates. A dating coach works with people to date many different types and learn how to get out of their current rut.
9. A dating coach teaches societal norms and expectations in the current dating world. She guides on who pays for what and gives the nitty-gritty information on the practicalities of dating. Guys may expect sex sooner now in a relationship than they did in the early 1990’s. The coach helps give strategies on dealing with issues, such as that one. She can help with finding a balance between being independent versus too clingy. One learns how to honor her own values in this changing world of dating.
10. One gets guidance on recognizing dangerous men who have a charming façade. A dating coach talks about the red flags of dating and how to avoid the stalkers, controlling partners and other toxic character flaws.
When there are big gaps between dates, or when one has many first dates only, a dating coach can give valuable insight on how to remedy this situation. Friends may not want to be frank in order to spare your feelings, however this professional can get at the root of a dating problem.
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