There are no rules in dating. Actually, there are a thousand relationship rules, but there shouldn’t be. Why do we put guidelines on everything? Why do we have sexist limitations on what we, as women, can and can’t do when it comes to our love lives?
Society is cruel, and predictable, and quite boring. I, for one, refuse to sit around waiting for a man to make stuff happen.
There might be “rules” to dating, but that doesn’t mean we have to follow them. Here are 3 rules that are totally outdated, and should die a quick, painless death.
1. Women shouldn’t make the first move.
Sometimes we should and sometimes, we have to. Let’s face it; men can be oblivious. Men can be nervous and self-doubting. If I hadn’t asked my current partner out after seeing him at the beach, we wouldn’t be where we are today. He had no idea I was even interested, which I like to call “playing it cool”.
You are beautiful, intelligent and independent. Right? Well, asking a beautiful, intelligent, independent woman out is intimidating! Men often struggle to approach attractive women they don’t know. Throw kids and an ex-husband into the mix and that intimidation meter goes way up.
Men often assume women, especially ones who have kids or have gone through divorce, are too busy for a personal life. They might even assume that you don’t have the time or desire to care for yet another human life. But we all desire love and we all deserve a chance to explore what could become love.
If you like someone, why should you have to wait to see where it could go? Because society made up some stupid, sexist rule hundreds of years ago? No.
Get his number. Call him up. Ask him out. We are women, and we get shit done.
2. Men should pay for everything.
Chivalry is not dead, but feminism isn’t either. Sure, it’s nice to go out with a new guy who pays for the bill, or at least takes the initiative. I’ll admit; the gesture makes me feel respected and provided for. This is, after all, the way nature operates.
But what is this really saying? Especially on the first or second date? How are we supposed to repay the favor? I’m not saying we owe a man a “good time” after he paid for a few dates. But I am saying that it’s better not to have that ridiculous assumption sitting on either of your shoulders.
The only reason this has become a problem, and men (who are complete idiots anyway) get pissed after they’ve spent $100 on a date that ended with a hug, is because a lot of women don’t feel any obligation to chip in.
It’s an issue of entitlement and it makes us look bad.
Making the man pay for everything completely negates the possibility of a woman being the breadwinner. And in my own personal experience, I’ve owned the bigger bank account in most of my relationships, which isn’t necessarily saying much.
Regardless, I’m a firm believer of splitting the bill and treating your man as much as he treats you. Defy gender stereotypes!
3. Love has a timeline.
Love works in mysterious ways. Life is unpredictable. We all know this by now. There is no agenda. There is no law that says you have to wait three years after a divorce to date someone new. There is no calendar that says you’ll never love again. You never know when you’ll meet the right person. It could be in ten years. It could be in ten days. It could be in ten minutes!
The opportunity to connect exists all around us. Don’t have a premeditated timeline of when you’ll get over your divorce, or meet someone who will help you get over your divorce. Don’t stunt your growth.
Let life take you where it wants. Don’t be stubborn. You don’t know who’s waiting for you to go with the flow.