A divorce is something that many people never truly get over. In fact, for some people, it can destroy the rest of their lives however there are steps that you can take which will limit the impact divorce has on you emotionally, physically and financially.
The aftermath of a divorce can be messy both mentally and financially but there are 5 things that you must do to improve your life after a divorce.
1. Take Control of Your Finances
For some people, a divorce can cripple them financially. After years of dealing with joint bank accounts, making mutual decisions about purchases and saving together, going it alone financial can be pretty daunting. Start, post-divorce by practicing effective budgeting measures and learn to think smaller when it comes to your lifestyle. If you can’t afford to do what you used to then don’t start taking out loans or living beyond your means. A divorce should be the start of something new, not an era of debt or getting yourself into financial trouble.
2. Prepare More Life
Think of your marriage as a before and after event. You should see this period as a new chapter in your life and one to be embraced as an opportunity to start over with a new life and new you. You should still maintain contact with your old life but start mentally preparing yourself to move on and embark on a whole new era without your ex.
3. Set a Goal of Being More Active
Exercise is a great way to rid yourself of the mental upheaval that a divorce can bring. In fact, studies show that exercise has a direct effect on a positive mood and outlook on life.
Start by taking things easy especially if you haven’t exercised much in the last few years. Even half an hour a day can have a big effect on your mental health. Set yourself realistic goals and reward yourself whenever you achieve them. Don’t go out and plan to run a marathon within 6 weeks of getting divorced but instead focus on smaller targets such as increasing your days at the gym, adding new routines to your workout and focusing on the mental and physical benefits of working.
4. Make Time for Yourself
Making time for yourself is a big part of dealing with the aftermath of a divorce in a healthy manner. Don’t isolate yourself, don’t use your kids as an excuse for not finding time for yourself. Putting yourself first will better prepare you for dealing with all the things life throws at you on a daily basis.
Do the things that you enjoy and try to stay positive. Focusing on yourself and taking time to reflect on life is a way in which to move on from the end of your marriage. You’re single again so you don’t need anyone’s permission to do what you want to do. Enjoy life and enjoy your new found freedom.
5. Keep In Contact With Your Kids
Divorces can be a traumatic affair especially when children are involved. Many men just want to get out of a marriage quickly and this sometimes means spending less and less time with their kids.
Not only will this have an adverse effect on your relationship with your children but it is also something you will regret a few years down the line. You might not get to see your kids every day like you used to when you were married however you should spend as much time with them as you possibly can. You will be glad that you made the effort as they age and show you their appreciation for you making time for them.
There’s a long list, balancing between the practical, emotional, and physical. Obviously kids come first. After that you have to financially take care of yourself, do all the legal stuff (I changed my name back to my maiden name, quite a logistically ordeal after 30 years); I got every little thing about him out of my life; I walked daily, went therapy, cried a lot but also worked on myself, got a better job. Amazing the stuff that comes out when everyone knows it’s over…..the things that came out fo the woodwork were overwhelming. almost 4 years later…much better..happier…relieved.